'P.S.--Last Wednesday a man called on my landlord and asked
him some secrets about me, and told him at last that I shall
have to state according I will be commanded to and not as I
wish. I enclose you herewith the same letter I received, it is
written in Jewish. Please not to show it to anyone but to
tear it at once as I would not trust it to any other one. I
would certainly call at the office and follow your advice. But
my life is dearer. So you should not trouble to come. I fear
already I gratify you for kind help till now, in the future
you may do as you wish.'
CHAPTER V
LAST STAGE OF ALL
This letter seemed decisive. I did not trouble Mr. Conn to English the
Yiddish epistle. My imagination saw too clearly Quarriar himself
dictating its luridly romantic phraseology. Such counter-plots, coils,
treasons, and stratagems in so simple a matter! How Quarriar could
even think them plausible I could not at first imagine; and with my
anger was mingled a flush of resentment at his low estimate of my
intellect.
After-reflection instructed me that he wrote as a Russian to whom
apparently nothing mediaeval was strange. But at the moment I had only
the sense of outrage and trickery. All these months I had been fed
upon lies. Day after day I had been swathed with them as with
feathers. I had so pledged my reputation as a reader of character that
he would appear with his three younger children, bear every test, and
be triumphantly vindicated. And in that moment of hot anger and
wounded pride I had almost slashed through my canvas and mutilated
beyond redemption that kingly head. But it looked at me sadly with
its sweet majesty, and I stayed my hand, almost persuaded to have
faith in it still. I began multiplying excuses for Quarriar, figuring
him as misled by his neighbours, more skilled than he in playing upon
philanthropic heart-strings; he had been told, doubtless, that two
daughters made no impression upon the flinty heart of bureaucratic
charity, that in order to soften it one must 'increase and multiply.'
He had got himself into a network of falsehood from which, though his
better nature recoiled, he had been unable to disentangle himself. But
then I remembered how even in Russia he had pursued an illegal
calling, how he had helped a friend to evade military service, and
again I took up my knife. But the face preserved its reproachful
dignity, seemed almost to turn the other cheek. Illegal calling! No;
it was the law that was illegal--the cruel, impossible law, that in
taking away all means of livelihood had contorted the Jew's
conscience. It was the country that was illegal--the cruel country
whose frontiers could only be crossed by bribery and deceit--the
country that had made him cunning like all weak creatures in the
struggle for survival. And so, gradually softer thoughts came to me,
and less unmingled feelings. I could not doubt the general accuracy of
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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