Ginx's Baby: His Birth and Other Misfortunes; a Satire — John Shaqi
Ginx's Baby: His Birth and Other Misfortunes; a SatireJenkins, Edward
General
Ginx's Baby: His Birth and Other Misfortunes; a Satire
Jenkins, Edward
Christian sects -- Fiction; Education -- Fiction; Orphans -- Fiction; Satire, English
On the tenth of April following, the whole neighborhood, including Great
Smith Street, Marsham Street, Great and Little Peter Streets, Regent
Street, Horseferry Road, and Strutton Ground, was convulsed by
the report that a woman named Ginx had given birth to “a triplet,”
consisting of two girls and a boy. The news penetrated to Dean's Yard
and the ancient school of Westminster. The Dean, who accepted nothing
on trust, sent to verify the report, his messenger bearing a bundle of
baby-clothes from the Dean's wife, who thought that the mother could
scarcely have provided for so large an addition to her family. The
schoolboys, on their way to the play-ground at Vincent Square, slyly
diverged to have a look at the curiosity, paying sixpence a head to Mrs.
Ginx's friend and crony, Mrs. Spittal, who pocketed the money, and said
nothing about it to the sick woman. THIS birth was announced in all
the newspapers throughout the kingdom, with the further news that Her
Majesty the Queen had been graciously pleased to forward to Mrs. Ginx
the sum of three pounds.
What could have possessed the woman I can't say, but about a twelvemonth
after, Mrs. Ginx, with the assistance of two doctors hastily fetched
from the hospital by her frightened husband, nearly perished in a fresh
effort of maternity. This time two sons and two daughters fell to the
lot of the happy pair. Her Majesty sent four pounds. But whatever peace
there was at home, broils disturbed the street. The neighbors, who had
sent for the police on the occasion, were angered by a notoriety which
was becoming uncomfortable to them, and began to testify their feelings
in various rough ways. Ginx removed his family to Rosemary Street,
where, up to a year before the time when Ginx's Baby was born, his wife
had continued to add to her offspring until the tale reached one dozen.
It was then that Ginx affectionately but firmly begged that his wife
would consider her family ways, since, in all conscience, he had fairly
earned the blessedness of the man who hath his quiver full of them;
and frankly gave her notice that, as his utmost efforts could scarcely
maintain their existing family, if she ventured to present him with any
more, either single, or twins, or triplets, or otherwise, he would most
assuredly drown him, or her, or them in the water-butt, and take the
consequences.
II.--Home, sweet Home!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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