Ginx's Baby: His Birth and Other Misfortunes; a SatireJenkins, Edward
General
Ginx's Baby: His Birth and Other Misfortunes; a Satire
Jenkins, Edward
Christian sects -- Fiction; Education -- Fiction; Orphans -- Fiction; Satire, English
“Him then--concentrate the sympathies of every Protestant heart. Let us
not despoil the occasion of its greatness by exhibiting a narrow bigotry
in one direction! Let us bring into this infantile focus the rays of
Catholic unity. (Loud cheering and Kentish fire.) To me, for one, it
would be eminently painful to think--what doubtless would occur if the
motion is adopted--that within a week of his entrance into the asylum of
the society named in it, this diminutive and unknowing sinner should
go through the farce of a supposititious admission into the Church of
Christ. (Oh!) Yes! I say a farce, whether you regard the age of the
acolyte or the indifferent proportion of water with which it would be
performed. (Uproar, oh, oh! and some cheering from the Baptist section.)
But I will not now further enter into these things,” said Mr. Cutwater,
who knew his cue perfectly well, “I can hold these opinions and still
love my brethren of other denominations. I move, as an amendment, that a
committee, consisting of one minister and one layman to be selected
from each of the Churches, be appointed to take charge of the physical
well-being and mental and spiritual training of the infant.”
By this proposition, which was received with enthusiasm, Ginx's Baby was
to be incontinently pitched into an arena of polemical warfare.
Every one was willing that a committee should fight out the question
vicariously; and, therefore, when Mr. Slowboy seconded the amendment, it
was carried with loud acclamations.
But they were not yet out of the wood. On proceeding to nominate members
of the committee, the Unitarians and Quakers claimed to be represented.
The platform and the meeting were by the ears again. It was fiercely
contended that only Evangelical Christians could have a place in such
a work, and many of the nominees declared that they would not sit on a
committee with--well, some curious epithets were used. The Unitarians
and Quakers took their stand on the Catholic principles embodied in the
amendment, and on the fact that Ginx's Baby had now “become national
Protestant property.” Mr. Cutwater and a few others, moved by the
scandal of the dispute, interfered, and the committee was at length
constituted to the satisfaction of all parties. It was to be called “The
Branch Committee of the Protestant Detectoral Union for promoting the
Physical and Spiritual Well-being of Ginx's Baby.”
A fourth resolution was adopted, “That the subject should be treated in
the Metropolitan pulpits on the next Sabbath, and a collection taken up
in the various churches for the benefit of the infant.” This promised
well for Master Ginx's future.
The meeting had lasted five hours, and while they were discussing him
the child grew hungry. In the tumult every one had forgotten the subject
of it, and now it was over, they dispersed without thought of him.
But he would not allow those near him at all events to overlook his
presence.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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