His heart, when he saw her, kept sinking, and sunk; And his eye, meeting hers, began winking, and wunk; While she, in her turn, fell to thinking, and thunk. He hastened to woo her, and sweetly he wooed, For his love grew until to a mountain it grewed, And what he was longing to do, then he doed. In secret he wanted to speak, and he spoke, To seek with his lips what his heart long had soke; So he managed to let the truth leak, and it loke. He asked her to ride to the church, and they rode, They so sweetly did glide, that they both thought they glode, And they came to the place to be tied, and were tode. Then homeward he said let us drive, and they drove, And soon as they wished to arrive, they arrove; For whatever he couldn’t contrive, she controve. The kiss he was dying to steal, then he stole; At the feet where he wanted to kneel, then he knole; And he said, “I feel better than ever I fole.” So they to each other kept clinging, and clung, While Time his swift circuit was winging, and wung; And this was the thing he was bringing and brung: The man Sally wanted to catch, and had caught— That she wanted from others to snatch, and had snaught— Was the one she now liked to scratch, and she scraught. And Charley’s warm love began freezing and froze, While he took to teasing, and cruelly toze The girl he had wished to be squeezing, and squoze. “Wretch!” he cried, when she threatened to leave him, and left, “How could you deceive, as you have deceft?” And she answered, “I promised to cleave, and I’ve cleft.” A STAMMERING WIFE. When deeply in love with Miss Emily Pryne, I vowed if the lady would only be mine, I would always be ready to please her; She blushed her consent, though the stuttering lass Said never a word except “You’re an ass— An ass—an ass—iduous teazer!” But when we were married, I found to my ruth The stammering lady had spoken the truth; For often, in obvious dudgeon, She’d say—if I ventured to give her a jog In the way of reproof—“You’re a dog—dog—dog— A dog—a dog—matic curmudgeon!” And once, when I said, “We can hardly afford This immoderate style with our moderate board,” And hinted we ought to be wiser, She looked, I assure you, exceedingly blue, And fretfully cried, “You’re a Jew—Jew—Jew— A very ju-dicious adviser!” Again, when it happened that, wishing to shirk Some rather unpleasant and arduous work, I begged her to go to a neighbor, She wanted to know why I made such a fuss, And saucily said, “You’re a cuss—cuss—cuss— You were always ac—cus—tomed to labor!”