Whereas by you I have been driven From ’ouse, from ’ome, from ’ope, from ’eaven, And placed by your most learned society In Hexile, Hanguish, and Hanxiety; Nay, charged without one just pretence, With Harrogance and Himpudence— I here demand full restitution, And beg you’ll mend your Helocution. Footnote 2: Now known to have been written by Miss Catherine Fanshawe. Rowland Hill, when at college, was remarkable for the frequent wittiness of his observations. In a conversation on the powers of the letter H, in which it was contended that it was no letter, but a simple aspiration or breathing, Rowland took the opposite side of the question, and insisted on its being, to all intents and purposes, a _letter_; and concluded by observing that, if it were not, it was a very serious affair to him, as it would occasion his being §ILL§ all the days of his life. When Kohl, the traveller, visited the Church of St. Alexander Nevskoi, at St. Petersburg, his guide, pointing to a corner of the building, said, “_There lies a Cannibal_.” Attracted to the tomb by this strange announcement, Kohl found from the inscription that it was the Russian general Hannibal; but as the Russians have no H,[3] they change the letter into K; and hence the strange misnomer given to the deceased warrior. Footnote 3: The Sandwich Island alphabet has twelve letters; the Burmese, nineteen; the Italian, twenty; the Bengalese, twenty-one; the Hebrew, Syriac, Chaldee, and Samaritan, twenty-two each; the French, twenty-three; the Greek, twenty-four; the Latin, twenty-five; the German, Dutch, and English, twenty-six each; the Spanish and Sclavonic, twenty-seven each; the Arabic, twenty-eight; the Persian and Coptic, thirty-two; the Georgian, thirty-five; the Armenian, thirty-eight; the Russian, forty-one; the Muscovite, forty-three; the Sanscrit and Japanese, fifty; the Ethiopic and Tartarian, two hundred and two each. A city knight, who was unable to aspirate the H, on being deputed to give King William III. an address of welcome, uttered the following equivocal compliment:— “Future ages, recording your Majesty’s exploits, will pronounce you to have been _a Nero_!” Mrs. Crawford says she wrote one line in her song, _Kathleen Mavourneen_, for the express purpose of confounding the cockney warblers, who sing it thus:— The ’orn of the ’unter is ’eard on the ’ill. Moore has laid the same trap in the _Woodpecker_:— A ’eart that is ’umble might ’ope for it ’ere. And the elephant _confounds_ them the other way:— A helephant heasily heats at his hease, Hunder humbrageous humbrella trees. ON THE MARRIAGE OF A LADY TO A GENTLEMAN NAMED GEE