"Example," sighed Mrs. Buggins, "is better than precept. It would be
more decent if the lady showed herself in church as a lesson to
others,--if she did so more lost sheep might follow!"
"Hor-hor-hor!" chuckled Bainton, from a corner of the room--"Don't
you worrit yourself, Missis Buggins, 'bout no lost sheep! Sheep
allus goes where there's somethin' to graze upon,--leastways that's
my 'speriemce, an' if there ain't no grazin' there ain't no sheep!
An' them as grazes on Passon Walden, gittin' out of 'im all they can
to 'elp 'em along, wouldn't go to church, no more than Miss Vancourt
do, if they didn't know wot a man 'e is to be relied on in times o'
trouble, an' a reg'lar 'usband to the parish in sickness an' in
'elth, for richer, for poorer, for better, for worse, till death do
'im part. Miss Vancourt don't want nothin' out of 'im as all we
doos, an' she kin show 'er independence ef she likes to by stayin'
away from church when she fancies, an' readin' books instead of
'earin' sermons,--there ain't no harm in that."
"I'm not so sure that I agree with you, Mr. Bainton,"--said a stout,
oily-looking personage, named Netlips, the grocer and 'general
store' dealer of the village, a man who was renowned in the district
for the profundity and point of his observations at electoral
meetings, and for the entirely original manner in which he 'used'
the English language; "Public worship is a necessary evil. It is a
factor in vulgar civilisations. Without it, the system of religious
politics would fall into cohesion,--absolute cohesion!" And he
rapped his fist on the table with a smartness that made his hearers
jump. "At the last meeting I addressed in this division, I said we
must support the props. The aristocracy must bear them on their
shoulders. If your Squire stays away from church, he may be called a
heathen with propriety, though a Liberal. And why? Because he makes
public exposure of himself as a heathen negative! He is bound to
keep up the church factor in the community. Otherwise he runs
straight aground on Cohesion."
This oratorical outburst on the part of Mr. Netlips was listened to
with respectful awe and admiration.
"Ay, ay!" said Roger Buggins, who as 'mine host' stood in his shirt
sleeves at the entrance of his bar, surveying his customers and
mentally counting up their reckonings--"Cohesion would never do--
cohesion government would send the country to pieces. You're right,
Mr. Netlips,--you're right! Props must be kep' up!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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