"I don't see no props in goin' to church,"--said Dan Ridley, the
little working tailor of the village--"I goes because I likes Mr.
Walden, but if there was a man in the pulpit I didn't like, I'd stop
away. There's a deal too many wolves in sheep's clothing getting
ordained in the service o' the Lord, an' I don't blame Miss Vancourt
if so be she takes time to find out the sort o' man Mr. Walden is
before settin' under him as 'twere. She can say prayers an' read 'em
too in her own room, an' study the Bible all right without goin' to
church. Many folks as goes to church reg'lar are downright mean
lyin' raskills--and don't never read their Bibles at all. Mebbe they
does as much harm as what Mr. Netlips calls Cohesion, though I don't
myself purfess to understand Government language, it bein' too deep
for me."
Mr. Netlips smiled condescendingly, and nodded as one who should
say--'You do well, my poor fellow, to be humble in my presence!'--
and buried his nose in his tankard of ale.
"Mebbe Cohesion's got hold o' my red cow"--said the burly farmer who
had spoken before--"For she's as ailin' as ever she was, an' if I
lose her, I loses a bit o' my livin.' An' that's what I sez an'
'olds by, no church-goin' seems to 'elp us in a bit o' trouble, an'
it ain't decent or Christian like, so it 'pears, to pray to the
Almighty for the savin' of a cow. I asked Passon Walden if 'twould
be right, for the cow's as valuable to me as ever my wife was when
she was alive, if not more, an' he sez quite pleasant-like--'Well
no, Mister Thorpe, I think it best not to make any sort of special
prayer for the poor beast, but just do all you can for it, and leave
the rest to Providence. A cow is worldly goods, you see--and we're
not quite justified in praying to be allowed to keep our worldly
goods.' 'Ain't we!' I sez--'Is that a fact? He smiled and said it
was. So I thanked him and comed away. But I've been thinkin' it over
since, an' I sez to myself--ef we ain't to pray for keepin' an'
'avin' our worldly goods, wot 'ave we got to pray for?"
"Oh Mr. Thorpe!" ejaculated Mrs. Buggins, almost tearfully--"It is
not this world but the next, that we must think of! We must pray for
our souls!"
"Well, marm, I ain't got a 'soul' wot I knows on--an' as for the
next world, if there ain't no cattle farmin' there, I reckon I'll be
out o' work. Do you count on keepin' a bar in the 'eavenly country?"
A loud guffaw went the round of the room, and Mrs. Buggins gasped
with horror.
"Oh, Roger!" she murmured, addressing her portly spouse, who at once
took up the argument.
"You goes too fur--you goes too fur, Mister Thorpe!" he said
severely--"There ain't no keepin' bars nor farmin' carried on in the
next world, nor marrying nor givin' in marriage. We be all as the
angels there."
"A nice angel you'll make too, Mr. Buggins!" said Farmer Thorpe, as
he sent his tankard to be refilled,--"Lord! We won't know you!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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