and hopelessness,--the constant unrelieved consciousness of human
wretchedness weighs me down to the dust of spiritual abasement, for
I can but think that if God were indeed merciful and full of loving-
kindness, He would not, He could not endure the constant spectacle
of man's devilish injustice to his brother man! I have no right to
permit myself to indulge in such reflections as these, I know,--yet
they have gained such hold on me that I have latterly had serious
thoughts of resigning my bishopric. But this is a matter involving
other changes in my life, on which I should like to have some long
friendly talks with you, before taking any decisive step. Your own
attitude of mind towards the 'calling and election' you have chosen
has always seemed to me so pre-eminently pure and lofty, that I
should condemn ray own feelings even more than I do, were I to allow
the twin forces of pessimism and despair to possess me utterly
without an attempt to bring them under your sane and healthful
exorcism, the more so, as you know all my personal history and life-
long sorrow. And this brings me to the main point of my letter which
is, that I should much like to see you, if you can spare me two or
three days of your company any time before the end of August. Try to
arrange an early visit, though I know how ill your parishioners can
spare you, and how more than likely they are to grumble at your
absence. You are to be envied in having secured so much affection
and confidence in the parish you control, and every day I feel more
and more how wisely you have chosen your lot in that comparative
obscurity, which, at one time, seemed to those who know your
brilliant gifts, a waste of life and opportunity. Of course you are
not without jealous enemies,--no true soul ever is. Sir Morton
Pippitt still occasionally sends me a spluttering note of
information as to something you have, or have not done, to the
church on which you have spent the greater part of your personal
fortune; and Leveson, the minister at Badsworth, appears to think
that I should assist him by heading a subscription list to obtain
funds for the purpose of making his church as perfect a gem of
architecture as yours. Due enquiries have been made as to the nature
and needs of his parishioners, and it appears that only twenty--five
adult persons on an average ever attend his ministrations, and that
the building for which he pleads is a brick edifice built in 1870
and deliberately allowed to decay by disuse and neglect. However,
Sir Morton Pippitt is taking some interest in it, so I am given to
understand,--and perhaps in 'restoring' a modern chapel, he will be
able to console himself for the ruthless manner in which you
stripped off his 'galvanised tin' roof from your old Norman church
walls!
"I am sorry to hear that the historic house of Abbot's Manor is
again inhabited, and by one who is likely to be a most undesirable
neighbour to you."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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