I did not intend to tell Dennison that I was ill, so I said I would go
if Ward would come with us, and as soon as we got into the Broad and
the rain fairly beat upon us, I began to feel much better and more
capable of being disagreeable to Dennison. I was in the state of mind
which makes one anxious to be unpleasant, the sort of mood in which
horrid people abuse servants or try to kick animals, and I was glad to
have Dennison, who deserved every rudeness imaginable, at my disposal.
But the worst of feeling so thoroughly disagreeable is that you are
ashamed of yourself so quickly. I am either violently angry or not
angry at all, and it is the people who are good at sulks and call them
dignity who get their own way in this world. I once tried to be
dignified at home, and I am not inclined to repeat the experiment; my
father told me not to be a fool, my sister walked about as if wrestling
with suppressed laughter, and my mother offered me various medicines.
Rudeness is my _role_, its intention is not so easily mistaken.
So I hung on to Dennison very earnestly, and though Ward did all he
knew to keep the peace, I had managed before we reached the Parks, to
convince both of them that our walk was a mistake.
We went to the far end of the ground where very few spectators were
standing, for an Oxford crowd always collect behind the goal of the
visiting side, hoping magnificently that by those means they will see
most of the game. It is very noble of them, but they are sometimes
disappointed, and this happened to be one of the days on which those
who were behind the 'Varsity goal-posts saw a good deal more than they
wanted. For the day was made for the Richmond XV., who were big, bulky
men, very heavy in the scrimmage, and the three-quarter backs on both
sides spent most of their time trying to keep warm. Dennison said he
was bored to death, and I told him Richmond never were any good outside
the scrum and were playing a jolly good game. He answered that he was
not a Football Encyclopaedia, and I assured him that he never could be
anything half so useful. We kept up this kind of conversation for some
time, while Ward stamped his feet and asked us to stop.
"How long have you been gated for?" I asked Dennison suddenly,
springing the question upon him as had been the habit of one master at
Cliborough when he was going to ask me something very embarrassing.
Ward hit me in the ribs with his elbow, and Dennison pretended not to
hear, so I moved a little further from Ward and repeated my question.
"The Subby didn't send for me," he replied; "I wasn't caught and I made
no row to speak of."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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