Godolphin, Volume 4.Lytton, Edward Bulwer Lytton, Baron
General
Godolphin, Volume 4.
Lytton, Edward Bulwer Lytton, Baron
England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction
It is the most common thing in the world, that, when we have once wronged
a person, we go on in the wrong, from a certain soreness with which
conscience links the associations of the injured party. And thus,
Godolphin, struggling with the return to his early and never-forgotten
love, felt an unwillingness that he could seldom successfully combat, in
playing the hypocrite to Lucilla. His very remorse made him unkind; the
feeling that he ought to write often, made him write seldom: and
conscious that he ought to return her expressions of eager devotion, he
returned them with involuntary awkwardness and reserve. All this is very
natural, and very evident to us; but a thousand mysteries were more
acceptable to, more sought for and more clung to, by Lucilla, than a
conjecture at the truth.
Meanwhile she fed more and more eagerly on those vain researches which yet
beguiled her time, and flattered her imagination. In a science so false,
and so unprofitable, it mattered, happily, little, whether or not the poor
disciple laboured with success; but I need scarcely tell to any who have
had the curiosity to look over the entangled schemes and quaint figures of
the art, how slender was the advancement of the daughter in the learning
of the sire. Still it was a comfort and a soothing, even to look upon the
placid heaven, and form a conjecture as to the language of its stars.
And, above all, while she questioned the future, she thought only of her
lover. But day after day passed--no letter, or worse than none; and at
length Lucilla became utterly impatient of all rest: a nervous fever
possessed her; the extreme solitude of the place filled her with that
ineffable sensation of irritability which sometimes preludes the madness
that has been produced in criminals by solitary confinement.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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