What happened then was also along the lines he had been prepared for.
So many tales had been told him, and he had listened with such
eagerness that, from the minute of going up the death-ladder, he seemed
to have been through it all before. Everything went as if it had been
rehearsed. He had the lonely feeling on finding himself in the open
other men had described to him. As he ran through the lanes of barbed
wire his agony of haste was neither more nor less than theirs. The
"p'--p'--p'--p'--p'--p'" of the machine-guns; the crackling of bullets
through the air; the tottering and falling of his comrades, throwing up
their arms and tumbling clumsily on backs or faces, were all as if by
rule. He had no more consciousness than that. He was neither brave nor
afraid; he was only numb. It was something to be done, and he was doing
it. He might have been doing it in his sleep--in a nightmare.
On reaching the German trench, which the barrage fire had crumpled into
a welter of earth, cement, timbers, uniforms, dead and wounded men, and
pots and pans, he practically tumbled in. There was no horror in the
minute, because horror has its limits and this had passed beyond them.
A wounded German was crawling away to anything that would shelter him,
and in order to scramble up Lester had to step on the man's head. The
head gave way, with an oath or a groan, but Lester managed to keep his
feet. All round him there was shouting and yelling and cursing, and now
and then a demoniac laugh. Every American was trying to kill his
German, and the Germans were at bay. Lester, too, was trying to kill.
The infection had caught him. Out of the blank, out of the numbness,
out of the paralysis of the spirit in which he had run across No Man's
Land, something surged up of which he had no time to take account. It
didn't wait for him to take account of it. It seized him with a
maddening pang--a hate to which he had never supposed his nature could
be equal--a hate welling up from the depths of his subconscious self--a
hate of the enemy--a hate of the German--a hate of the very first
individual who came his way--with a wild accompanying frenzy to stick
his bayonet in a heart. "Give 'em hell," were the words with which he
had been sent over, and all his life and all his longings and all his
love were fused in one red flame to deal out hell as it had been dealt
out to him.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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