Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; Nature -- Fiction; Triangles (Interpersonal relations) -- Fiction; Wales -- Fiction; Women -- Fiction
Edward knew, kneeling there with his eyes shut, how Hazel's hair would
flow sweetly over the pillow; how her warm arm would feel about his
neck; how wildly sweet it would be, in some dark hour, to allay
dream-fears and hush her to sleep. Never before had the gracious
intimacy of marriage so shone in his eyes. And he was going to have
just the amount of intimacy that his mother would have, perhaps rather
less. Every night he would stand on the threshold, kiss Hazel with a
brotherly kiss, and turn away. His life would be a cold threshold. Month
by month, year by year, he would read the sweet, frank love-stories of
the Bible--stories that would, if written by a novelist, be banned, so
true are they; year by year he would see nest and young creatures, and go
into cottages where babies in fluffy shawls gazed at him anciently and
caught his fingers in a grip of tyrannous weakness. And always there
would be Hazel, alluring him with an imperishable magic even stronger
than beauty, startling him from his hard-won calm by the turn of a
wrist, the curve of a waist-ribbon, a wave of her hair. And then the
stern hour of crisis rode him down, and a great voice cried, not with
the cunning that he would have expected of a temper, but with the
majesty of morning on the heights:
'Take her. She is yours.'
He knew that it was true. Who would gainsay him? She was his. In a few
hours she would be his wife, in his own house, giving him every law of
creed and race. In fact, by not pleasing himself he would be outraging
creed and race. The latch of her door was his to lift at any time. That
chamber of roses and gold, rainbows and silver cries like the dawn-notes
of birds, was there for him like the open rose for the bee. His mother,
too, would be pleased. She had expostulated gelatinously about 'this
marriage which was no marriage.' He would be that companionable and
inspiring thing--the norm. He would be one of the world-wide company
of men that work, marry, bring up children, maybe see their grandchildren,
and then, in the glory of fulfilment, lay their silver heads on the
pillow of sleep. He had always loved normal things. He was not one
of those who are set apart by the strange aloofness of genius, whose
souls burn with a wild light, instead of with the comfortable glow of
the hearth fire. He was an ordinary man, loved ordinary things. Neither
was he effeminate or a celibate by instinct, though he had not Reddin's
fury of masculinity. Sex would never have awakened in him but at the
touch of spiritual love. But the touch had come; it had awakened; it
threatened to master him.
Pictures came dimly and yet radiantly before him: Hazel as she would
stand to-night brushing out her hair; this room as it would be when
she had put the light out and only starlight illuminated it; the
flowery scent, the sound of her soft breathing; and then, in a
tempestuous rush, the emotions he would feel as he laid his hand on
the latch--love, triumph, intoxication.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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