Good Intentions: Ship's Company, Part 3.Jacobs, W. W. (William Wymark)
General
Good Intentions: Ship's Company, Part 3.
Jacobs, W. W. (William Wymark)
England -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Humorous stories, English
"'Talk sense,' he ses. 'It ain't good enough for that. Why, she
worships the ground I tread on. She thinks there is nobody like me in
the whole wide world.'
"'Let's 'ope she'll think so arter you're married,' I ses, trying to
cheer him up.
"'I'm not going to get married,' he ses. 'Leastways, not to 'er. But
'ow to get out of it without breaking her 'art and being had up for
breach o' promise I can't think. And if the other one got to 'ear of it,
I should lose her too.'
"'Other one?' I ses, 'wot other one?'
"Cap'n Tarbell shook his 'ead and smiled like a silly gal.
"'She fell in love with me on top of a bus in the Mile End Road,' he ses.
'Love at fust sight it was. She's a widder lady with a nice little 'ouse
at Bow, and plenty to live on-her 'usband having been a builder. I don't
know what to do. You see, if I married both of 'em it's sure to be found
out sooner or later.'
"'You'll be found out as it is,' I ses, 'if you ain't careful. I'm
surprised at you.'
"'Yes,' he ses, getting up and walking backwards and forwards;
'especially as Mrs. Plimmer is always talking about coming down to see
the ship. One thing is, the crew won't give me away; they've been with
me too long for that. P'r'aps you could give me a little advice, Bill.'
"I did. I talked to that man for an hour and a'arf, and when I 'ad
finished he said he didn't want that kind of advice at all. Wot 'e
wanted was for me to tell 'im 'ow to get rid of Miss Lamb and marry Mrs.
Plimmer without anybody being offended or having their feelings hurt.
"Mrs. Plimmer came down to the ship the very next evening. Fine-looking
woman she was, and, wot with 'er watch and chain and di'mond rings and
brooches and such-like, I should think she must 'ave 'ad five or six
pounds' worth of jewell'ry on 'er. She gave me a very pleasant smile,
and I gave 'er one back, and we stood chatting there like old friends
till at last she tore 'erself away and went on board the ship.
"She came off by and by hanging on Cap'n Tarbell's arm. The cap'n was
dressed up in 'is Sunday clothes, with one of the cleanest collars on I
'ave ever seen in my life, and smoking a cigar that smelt like an escape
of gas. He came back alone at ha'past eleven that night, and 'e told me
that if it wasn't for the other one down Shoremouth way he should be the
'appiest man on earth.
"'Mrs. Plimmer's only got one fault,' he ses, shaking his 'cad, 'and
that's jealousy. If she got to know of Laura Lamb, it would be all U.P.
It makes me go cold all over when I think of it. The only thing is to
get married as quick as I can; then she can't help 'erself.'
"'It wouldn't prevent the other one making a fuss, though,' I ses.
"'No,' he ses, very thoughtfully, 'it wouldn't. I shall 'ave to do
something there, but wot, I don't know.'
"He climbed on board like a man with a load on his mind, and arter a look
at the sky went below and forgot both 'is troubles in sleep.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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