GOSLINGS By J. D. BERESFORD Author of "The Hampdenshire Wonder," etc. London William Heinemann 1913 BOOK I THE NEW PLAGUE I--THE GOSLING FAMILY 1 "Where's the gels gone to?" asked Mr Gosling. "Up the 'Igh Road to look at the shops. I'm expectin' 'em in every minute." "Ho!" said Gosling. He leaned against the dresser; the kitchen was hot with steam, and he fumbled for a handkerchief in the pocket of his black tail coat. He produced first a large red bandanna with which he blew his nose vigorously. "Snuff 'andkerchief; brought it 'ome to be washed," he remarked, and then brought out a white handkerchief which he used to wipe his forehead. "It's a dirty 'abit snuff-taking," commented Mrs Gosling. "Well, you can't smoke in the orfice," replied Gosling. "Must be doin' somethin', I suppose?" said his wife. When the recital of this formula had been accomplished--it was hallowed by a precise repetition every week, and had been established now for a quarter of a century--Gosling returned to the subject in hand. "They does a lot of lookin' at shops," he said, "and then nothin' 'll satisfy 'em but buyin' somethin'. Why don't they keep away from 'em?" "Oh, well; sales begin nex' week," replied Mrs Gosling. "An' that's a thing we 'ave to consider in our circumstances." She left the vicinity of the gas-stove, and bustled over to the dresser. "'Ere, get out of my way, do," she went on, "an' go up and change your coat. Dinner'll be ready in two ticks. I shan't wait for the gells if they ain't in." "Them sales is a fraud," remarked Gosling, but he did not stop to argue the point. He went upstairs and changed his respectable "morning" coat for a short alpaca jacket, slipped his cuffs over his hands, put one inside the other and placed them in their customary position on the chest of drawers, changed his boots for carpet slippers, wetted his hair brush and carefully plastered down a long wisp of grey hair over the top of his bald head, and then went into the bathroom to wash his hands. There had been a time in George Gosling's history when he had not been so regardful of the decencies of life. But he was a man of position now, and his two daughters insisted on these ceremonial observances.