Vin. No! No! Firmness, my dear Monty, firmness, not ostentation.
Mrs. M. (_gushingly to Mrs. Vining_). What a man of affairs Mr. Vining
is!
Vin. (_filling his chest_). I flatter myself I put things through, Mrs.
Montgomery. Now, Monty!
Mont. (_reading_). "At the indignation meeting--um--held on the--um--it
was resolved to respectfully address----"
Mrs. V. Oh!
Vin. (_reprovingly_). Well, Cecilia?
Mont, (_puzzled_). That's in order, I think.
Vin. Quite. Go on.
Mrs. V. But, Archibald, to address a split infinitive to a baronet!
Vin. I stand corrected. Thanks, Cecilia.
Mont. I don't quite see----------
Vin. (_moving him to write_). It was resolved respectfully to
address----
Mont, (_correcting and reading_). To address a letter to you on the
subject of your rumoured intention to sell the Polygon.
Vin. Correct, I think? (_Approval from the settee._)
Mont. (_proceeding_). It is our hope that should this information
be correct, bracket, which we hesitate to believe, bracket, you will
reconsider your decision to give over to the hands of the jerry builder
the only residences in Carrington habitable by persons of refinement.
Vin. Excellent. (_Approval from settee. Vining crosses l. to above
Montgomery and takes letter; patronisingly._) You write a clerkly hand,
Monty. (_Picks up pen._) I'll sign as the oldest resident present.
(_Montgomery swallows a protest, remaining seated, Vining signs, bending
over._)
What a pity Sir Charles is abroad. We shall be kept waiting for his
reply.
Mont. You got his address from Dunkerly?
Vin. (_putting envelope before him_). Yes. _Hotel Métropole_, Monte
Carlo.
(_Montgomery writes and encloses letter. Vining goes to French window
and opens it._)
I'll have this posted at once. (_Calls._) Pilling!
(_He returns. Montgomery crosses r. and sits above fireplace._)
Mont. Ah, well! That's settled..
Vin. (_sitting at desk_). Yes.
Mar. (_rises_). Jolly glad to hear it. I'm fed up. Come out and play
tennis, Walter. (_Puts chair down c._)
Walter. Not this afternoon, Marjorie.
Mar. Oh, be a sport.
Walter. Some other time.
Mar. It's always some other time with you, now. I'm forgetting what you
look like in flannels. You'll lose all your form if you don't practice a
bit.
Walter. I'm afraid I must let it go. (_Rises and crosses l._)
Mar. It's pure slacking. Don't be so beastly serious, if you are in
Orders. Come and be a muscular Christian on the lawn.
Walter. Something more serious to-day, Marjorie. Mar. Oh, rot! What's
the good of having the courts if you don't use 'em?
Mont. They certainly might be used more by you young people.
Walter. They might be used by hundreds of people if----
Mar. Oh, blow, you're getting on your hobby horse again. I'm going to
practice putting if you won't give me a game. You are a rotter.
(_Exit Marjorie c. to l. Pilling appears c. from l. in his
shirt-sleeves._)
Vin. (_closes desk and crosses up l.c._). Oh, Pilling, just post this
letter at once. Are your hands clean?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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