Walter, On being my successful rival for the hand of Miss Verity.
Bam. What's this? Was _he_ the other you spoke of? (_To Stephen._)
Walter (_to Lucy_). Don't be afraid.
Ste. Yes.
Bam. (_to Walter_). Who told you about me?
Walter. Oh, news soon gets round. (_Lightly._)
Bam. (_r. c._). Does it? Well, there's two sorts of news. Correct news
and incorrect news. Both sorts gets round, but incorrect news gets round
most. See what I mean?
Ste. (_sternly_). I don't.
Bam. (_to Stephen_). You will. (_To Walter._) Look here, have you given
her up?
Walter. You wouldn't have me stand in your way, would you?
Bam. So you _have_ given her up. Why?
Walter. Oh, I had my reasons.
Bam. Had you now? I'd like to hear those reasons.
Walter. That's not quite fair to the lady, I think.
Ste. No. He's out of it.
Bam. Is he? I take no man's leavings without I know why he left 'em.
Walter. It's all square, man. She's yours now.
Bam. I beg to differ.
Ste. (_angrily_). What?
Lucy (_rises to go_). The goods needn't be on exhibition while the sale
proceeds.
(_Stephen points her angrily to chair l. She sits._)
Ste. Here, sit down. Now, Sam, what's it all about?
Bam. I'd as lief tell you when you're by yourself.
Walter. I thought so.
Ste. You can speak now. We're all concerned in this.
Walter. I beg your pardon. I've ceased to----
Ste. (_his back to the right door_). Now, Sam?
Walter (_sitting below fire_). Oh, very well.
Bam. (_r. c., awkwardly_). Well, I've been thinking things over. The
married state and--well----
(_Hesitating._)
Ste. (_grimly_). Yes, go on.
Bam. (_desperately_). It means giving up too much.
Ste. (_c._). And a good thing, too, Sam Bamford. How much longer do you
think you'll last at the pace you go? You're cracking up already--not
half the man you were.
Lucy (_icily_). Think how nice it would be to have me for a nurse. I
warm father's carpet slippers beautifully, don't I, and my gruel's a
dream.
Bam. There's many a long day between me and carpet slippers and gruel. I
like roving about, Verity, and that's a fact.
Ste. Didn't you think of that before?
Bam. I spoke hurried.
Ste. It's time you settled down. You won't lose much that a thousand a
year and home comforts don't match.
Bam. I'm rich enough.
Ste. You didn't talk like that on Tuesday.
Bam. (_irritably_). I tell you, I've thought things over. Fact is,
I didn't half like the way she answered you back. A man gets enough
worries in his working day. When he gets home he wants peace and no back
answers.
Ste. She's all right now. It was having him asking (_indicating Walter_)
that made her proud. He's thrown her over--not good enough for him.
Bam. And she's not good enough for me, either. I can be a bit particular
myself. I like 'em quiet.
Ste. She's as quiet as they make 'em.
Lucy. Father, I absolutely and finally decline to marry Mr. Bamford.
Bam. I ask you, does that sound like a quiet life?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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