Graham's Magazine, Vol. XLI, No. 3, September 1852Various
General
Graham's Magazine, Vol. XLI, No. 3, September 1852
Various
Literature -- Periodicals; Literature, Modern -- 19th century -- Periodicals
Well, they—my kith and kin—all went out, and I was left alone. I felt
quite pleased with it. Putting out the lights, except one in each of the
chandeliers in the two drawing-rooms, I began to walk slowly up and down
the soft carpets, enjoying the solitude, and the pleasant light shedding
itself from above over the rooms and their furniture. It was a romantic
_clair obscur_, soft, and a little melancholy—and this evening I felt
very romantic. A slight, not unpleasant, weakness remained after the
past illness; but I was perfectly well, and with every moment a fresh
gush of health and delicious life seemed to swell my heart and pervade
my whole being: a certain soft emotion kept rising within me. On the
whole, I felt not quite so happy at being alone the whole evening. I
wished somebody would come and partake of my solitude; it was too full
for me. My heart bounded with sympathy toward my fellow creatures; with
good will to love, and to be loved; to interchange endearing words and
good offices. I wanted only to give; I wanted only somebody good enough
to receive; I felt my heart overflowing with good will for all the world
and all the people in it. I left the door to the vestibule unlocked, in
hope—not as in the extravagant fancies of my childhood—in hope that
robbers and burglars would come in and give me an opportunity to develop
some wonderful acts of courage or _présence d’ésprit_;—no, I did not
wish for robbers to come, but I did wish for somebody; and I had a
strong presentiment that somebody would come, that I should not remain
alone the whole evening. I felt sure that I should have a visit—a visit
that could not but become of importance either to me or to somebody
else. Then, any body that would come in this evening must feel my
influence—must experience something uncommon from the very volume of
life that rolled in my veins, and that I would roll on him or her. A
thousand feelings—a thousand thoughts—were in my heart and mind. But I
walked silently to and fro in the rooms, now and then looking curiously
down the street. Our house was a corner house: at the corner of the
house opposite hung a street-lamp, not very bright nor brilliant, but
still shedding a light, clear enough on the spot under it, and on the
objects nearest around. Right under the lamp hung, and swung in the
evening wind, a huge, red wooden glove (a glove-maker’s sign) with the
forefinger (a very long forefinger) pointing right down. The snow fell
in large flakes round the lamp and the red glove on the frozen white
ground. Now and then came persons—mostly men—wrapped up in their
cloaks, passing right under the lamp and the red glove, and were, as
they passed, lighted up by the former. I thought I recognized friends or
acquaintances in some of them, and often it would seem as if they
steered their way directly toward my house, but then again they were
wrapped up in the darkness, and the great red glove swung, and the lamp
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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