Graham's Magazine, Vol. XLI, No. 5, November 1852Various
General
Graham's Magazine, Vol. XLI, No. 5, November 1852
Various
Literature -- Periodicals; Literature, Modern -- 19th century -- Periodicals
The stricken man lay staring out at the window with fixed eyes awhile,
but neither in anger nor horror; for presently he turned his face upon
his bed and wept with all his heart. The unkindness, the ingratitude of
this woman, each carried in it a sting more venomous than the sting of
death; but, like the sting of death, they subdued rather than infuriated
him. That she who lay in his bed and sat at his board, whom at any rate
he trusted so far, whom at least he jealously protected and cared for,
should drain his life from him at her leisure--to-day, to-morrow, any
day, as soon as the milk came to make porridge with--smote him more with
its treachery than its cruelty. Oh, what seas of anguish broke over him
in that hour--casting him to and fro, a helpless waif, utterly abandoned
and broken up, in perhaps the lowest deeps of agony that ever man
entered upon and lived. His soul shook as in an ague; his spirit seemed
oozing from him, until, like a dwindled, half-spent breath, it flickered
within him on weak, unfeathered wings, impatient of their own impotence.
But soon--for in such extremities men sometimes live through the changes
of years in an hour--a sudden access of firmness, of sternness stole
upon this fainting spirit, which momentarily grew calmer and more stern,
till it was cold and hard as steel. Again his eyes became fixed and
staring, but now with an expression enough alone, in its frozen and
freezing terror, to have brought Sybilla down upon her knees had she
encountered it. And when, half an hour after, the sick man again turned
his face wearily upon his pillow, in hope of sleep, he had resolved to
let Sybilla _do it_!
O wretched woman! Little guessed she, when she came presently to look
upon this sleeper, the pallor of his face already reflected upon her
shrunken heart, how completely the power had passed out of her
hands--how terrible, how _eternal_ the punishment she herself should
assist him in signalizing. Little knew she that if her soul were now for
a time abandoned of all warning, of all saving voices, it was abandoned
to the power of her husband, in the hollow of whose hand it lay. To open
his hand before her eyes, calmly, mercifully to thrust an index-finger
into the spots which already festered so deep in this soul, to put aside
the cup not so much from his lips as her own, and hold up to her eyes,
day by day, the chalice of repentance--all this was within the compass
of his will. But he willed it not; he folded up his will and put it
aside; he would rather yield his inclinations to hers, and passively
close his fingers while he yielded. Why, what devil was in this man
also?
* * * * *
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