Graham's Magazine, Vol. XX, No. 2, February 1842 — John Shaqi
Graham's Magazine, Vol. XX, No. 2, February 1842Various
General
Graham's Magazine, Vol. XX, No. 2, February 1842
Various
Literature -- Periodicals; Literature, Modern -- 19th century -- Periodicals
It is a common saying that the love of a man is but an episode, while
that of a woman is the whole story of life, nor is it my purpose to
gainsay the remark. The wear and tear of toil, the stern conflict with
the world, the ever changing excitements which occupy him,—war, craft,
ambition,—these are sufficient reasons why love can never become the
sole passion of the stronger sex. But, though the saying is in general
true, it has one exception. The first love of a man is never forgotten.
It is through weal and woe the bright spot in his heart. Old men, whose
bosoms have been seared by seventy years conflict with the world, have
been known to weep at the recollection of their early love. The tone of
a voice, the beam of an eye,—a look, a smile, a footstep may bring up
to the mind the memory of her whom we worshipped in youth, and, like the
rod of Moses, sunder the flinty rock, bring tears gushing from the long
silent fountains of the heart. Nor has any after passion the purity of
our first love. If there is anything that links us to the angels, it is
the affection of our youth. It purifies and exalts the heart—it fills
the soul with visions of the bright and beautiful—it makes us scorn
littleness, and aspire after noble deeds. Point me out one who thus
loves, and I will point you out one who is incapable of a mean action.
Such was the effect which my sentiments for Annette had upon me. I saw
her not, it is true,—but she was ever present to my fancy. I pictured
continually to myself the approbation she would bestow on my conduct,
and I shrunk even from entertaining an ignoble thought. I knew that in
all probability we should never meet, but I thirsted to acquire renown,
to do some act which might reach her ears. I loved without hope, but not
the less fervently. A beggar might love a Princess, as a Paladin of old
looked up to his mistress, as an Indian worshipper adored the sun, I
loved, looked up to, and adored Annette. What little of fame I had won
was through her instrumentality. And now I had met her, had been her
preserver. As I lay in my hammock the memory of these things came
rushing through my mind, and emotions of bewilderment, joy, and
gratitude, prevented me from sleep.
I had seen Annette only for a moment, as the fatigue they had endured,
had confined herself and companion to the cabin, during the day. How
should we meet on the morrow? My heart thrilled at the recollection of
her delighted recognition—would she greet me with the same joy when we
met again? How would her father receive me? A thousand such thoughts
rushed through my brain, and kept me long awake—and when at length I
fell into a troubled sleep, it was to dream of Annette.
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