Graham's Magazine, Vol. XXI, No. 2, August 1842Various
General
Graham's Magazine, Vol. XXI, No. 2, August 1842
Various
Literature -- Periodicals; Literature, Modern -- 19th century -- Periodicals
Merry was our meeting with the ward-room and cock-pit of The Arrow, and
many a gay sally bore witness to the hilarity with which we greeted each
other after our mutual adventures. For a week, the town rung with our
mirth. At the end of that time, I managed to obtain leave of absence,
and remembering my promise to Mr. St. Clair, started for Pomfret Hall.
As I lay back in the coach, and was whirled over the road behind two
fast hackneys, I indulged in many a recollection of the past, in not a
few reveries over the future. But most of all I wondered how Annette
would receive me. The thoughts of our last parting were fresh in my
memory, but months of changes had since elapsed, and might not
corresponding changes have occurred in her feelings towards me? Would
she meet me with the delightful frankness of our childhood, or with the
trembling embarrassment of our few last interviews? Or might she not,
perhaps, as too many before had done, welcome me with a cold politeness,
that would be more dreadful to me than even scorn? The longer I thought
of the subject, the more uncertainty I felt as to my reception. At first
I had pictured to myself Annette, standing blushing and embarrassed on
the steps, to greet me as soon as I alighted; but when I came to reflect
I felt that, like all lovers, I had dreamed impossibilities; and I
almost laughed at my wild vision when I recalled to mind that I stood in
no other light to Annette than as an acquaintance, at most as a friend.
My feelings then took a sudden revulsion, and I asked myself, might not
she love another? What had I ever said to induce her to believe that I
loved her? Could she be expected to give her affections, unasked, to any
one, but especially to a poor adventurer, whose only fortune was his
sword, when the proudest of the land would consider her hand as a boon?
What madness to think that, surrounded as she doubtless had been by
suitors, her heart before this had not been given to another! As I
thought this, I fancied that I was going only to behold the triumph of
some more fortunate rival, and I cursed myself for having come on such
an errand. At one moment I was almost resolved to turn back. But again
hope dawned in my bosom. I felt that Annette must have seen my love, and
I recalled to mind how tremblingly alive she had been, during our last
interview, to my attentions. Surely then she had not forgotten me. I was
doing her injustice, and with this conviction, I leaned out of the
carriage window, and ordered the postillion to drive faster.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account