Graham's Magazine, Vol. XXI, No. 2, August 1842 — John Shaqi
Graham's Magazine, Vol. XXI, No. 2, August 1842Various
General
Graham's Magazine, Vol. XXI, No. 2, August 1842
Various
Literature -- Periodicals; Literature, Modern -- 19th century -- Periodicals
“I know not what you would say, Marian, but your strange words awake
strange thoughts within me! We have, indeed, been happy! fond, happy,
innocent, dear sister—and I can see no cause why we should now be
otherwise—I, at least, am still happy, Marian, unless it be to witness
your wild sorrow; and, if I know myself, no earthly sorrow would ever
make me wretched, much less repining or despairing.”
“Yes, you—yes, you, indeed, may yet be happy—blessed with a cheerful
home, a noble, gallant husband, and, it may be, sweet prattlers at your
knee—but I, oh God!” and she again burst into a fierce agony of tears
and sobbing. Her sister for a time strove to console her, but she soon
found not only that her efforts were in vain, but that, so far as she
could judge, Marian’s tears only flowed the faster, her sobs became more
suffocating, the more she would have soothed them; when she became aware
of this, then, she withdrew gradually her arms from her waist, and spoke
to her in a calm melancholy voice, full at the same time of deep
sadness, and firm decided resolution.
“Marian,” she said, “I see, and how I am grieved to see it no words can
possibly express, that you look not to me for sympathy or
consolation—nay, more, that you shrink back from my caresses as if they
were insincere or hateful. Your words, too, are so wild and whirling
that for my life I cannot guess what is their meaning or their cause. I
only can suspect, or, I should rather say, can only _dread_ that you
have either suffered some very grievous wrong, or done some very
grievous sin, and as I must believe the last impossible, my fears must
centre on the first dark apprehension. Could you confide in me, I might
advise, might aid, and could, at least, most certainly console you. Why
you cannot, or will not trust me, _you_ can know only. Side by side have
we grown up since we were little tottering things, guiding our weak
steps hand in hand in mutual dependence, seldom apart, I might say
_never_—for, now since you have been away, I have thought of you half
the day, and dreamed of you all night, my earliest comrade, my best
friend, my own, my only sister. And now we are two grown up maidens,
with none exactly fit to counsel or console us, except ourselves
alone—since it has pleased our Heavenly Father in his wisdom for so
long to deprive us of our dear mother’s blessed guidance. We are two
lone girls, Marian; and never yet, so far as I know or can recollect,
have we had aught to be ashamed of, or that one should not have
communicated to the other. And now there is not one thought in my mind,
one feeling or affection in my heart, which I would hide from you, my
sister. What, then, can be this heavy sin or sorrow which you are now
ashamed or fearful to relate to one who surely loves you as no one else
can do beneath the canopy of heaven? Marian, you must reply to me in
full, or I must leave you till better thoughts shall be awakened in your
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