Graham's Magazine, Vol. XXX, No. 6, June 1847Various
General
Graham's Magazine, Vol. XXX, No. 6, June 1847
Various
Literature -- Periodicals; Literature, Modern -- 19th century -- Periodicals
I had not been in town many weeks, when one evening a person brought me
a note from Ernest Moreton, requesting me to visit him immediately. I
followed the bearer of the message, through many low streets in the
neighborhood of Fleet street, until we arrived at a narrow,
wretched-looking court. In a small, dark room, without furniture, on a
miserable couch, lay my poor friend. He pressed my hand, and a sad smile
passed over his wan, emaciated features, as I seated myself upon the
only chair in the room, by his side. Poor fellow! he was, indeed, sadly
changed! From the confident and aspiring youth, eager in the pursuit of
fame, and strong in hope, I beheld him shrunk to the miserable occupant
of a sick, untended bed. Where now are all those bright delusive dreams
which thy too warm fancy wove? Have they not all faded into nothingness?
Alas! do they not always fade?
“My friend,” he said, “I see by your countenance that you think me much
changed since our parting. I am also aware of it; but you do not think
me so ill as I really am. Dear sir, I feel that I am dying, and rapidly
will life’s flame be extinguished. But do not mourn for me, my friend;
it does not grieve me now. There was a time, indeed, when youth’s
delusions were strong within me; when ambition and love struggled for
mastery, and quite bewildered my too excitable imagination with glorious
dreams of the future; that thoughts of death seemed to fall upon my soul
like a blight. But the hand of God has been upon me; sorrow has
chastened the heart that transient prosperity had too much elated. In my
home, and, as you see, not very happy home, without a friend, without
money, food, fire, clothing, in sickness and desolation, the folly and
vanity of my pursuits have come most forcibly upon me. I am much
altered; though nothing can banish from my breast the old enthusiasm for
my profession, yet ambition has now no place there. You see, even here I
have written much; but of what avail, further than as a relief to my
overburthened heart? Music holds still her spell upon me, but hope has
quite departed. I am dying of no disease, save that of a broken heart. I
have for months been wasting away; as hope upon hope has taken flight,
deeper and deeper has sunk the barbed arrow of sorrow into my heart, and
life has ebbed away, purely from the want of a wish to live. To you, my
generous friend, in this last hour I call. With you by my side, I would
breathe my last breath. I have not power to say much more. A short
account of my life you will find amongst my papers; read it, and you
will learn by what means I was brought to this despairing state. My
music you will burn; and my last request is, that you will, if it be
possible, have my body placed by _her_ side. Do not leave me, my friend,
for the world is passing rapidly away.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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