Graham's Magazine Vol XXXIII No. 5 November 1848Various
General
Graham's Magazine Vol XXXIII No. 5 November 1848
Various
Literature -- Periodicals; Literature, Modern -- 19th century -- Periodicals
For a few moments the joyous excitement of his spirit continued, as he
thought of the interest in him which her conversation and actions had
that evening evinced. But when the door closed and shut her fairy form
from his sight, a shadow fell over his heart. Other feelings arose and
whispered that after all it was but pity that actuated her.
Love--would she not rather despise his weakness that had need of such
a caution? Then came a sense of wounded pride, an idea that his
confession had humbled him before her, and ere he reached his home he
had become so deeply desponding that he was meditating taking passage
for England, and doing a thousand other desperate things, so that he
never again might see the gentle monitress who, he had persuaded
himself, regarded him with pity that was more akin to disgust than
love.
A letter received the next morning calling him into the country for a
week, prevented his executing his rash designs; but a feeling,
unaccountable even to himself, made him shun the places where he was
accustomed to meet Emma, and made him miserable, till three or four
weeks afterward, merely by accident, he found himself seated opposite
to her at a concert. Was it fancy, or did she look sad and thoughtful;
and why did her eye roam over the crowd, as if seeking some one it
found not. So he thought to himself, till suddenly, in their gazing,
his eyes met hers. Instantly she turned away, and then in a moment
after, gave him an earnest, inquiring glance, full of troubled
thought. At that look the demon which tormented him vanished, and a
flood of inexpressible love filled his soul. He could not go to her,
hemmed in as he was by the audience; but he did not cease looking at
her through the evening. In vain; she gave no second look or sign of
consciousness of his presence.
"She is offended with me," he soliloquized, as he went homeward; "and
no wonder. How like a fool I have acted. I will go to her to-morrow
and tell her all."
In the morning he called, but others had been before him, and the
drawing-room was well supplied with loungers. He staid as long as
decency would permit; but Miss Leslie was not at all cordial in her
manner toward him, and the "dear five hundred friends" kept coming and
going, so that no opportunity offered for the explanation. "I will go
again this evening," said he to himself; and so he did. Emma stood at
the window, beside a stand of magnificent plants, whose blossoms
filled the room with fragrance. The lamps had not been lighted, and
the moonlight fell like a halo of glory around her, as she stood in
sad reverie that cast a pensive shade over her face, usually so
brilliant in its beauty. So absorbed was she, that she did not hear
the door open, and was unconscious of Saville's presence till he was
at her side.
"You received me coldly, fair lady, this morning, so that I came back
to see if you are offended with me," said he, as she turned to receive
him.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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