Graham's Magazine, Vol. XXXVI, No. 1, January 1850Various
General
Graham's Magazine, Vol. XXXVI, No. 1, January 1850
Various
Literature -- Periodicals; Literature, Modern -- 19th century -- Periodicals
“Clara, there is one thing that troubles me, and as you urge me to speak
of what is in my mind, I don’t see that I can with justice conceal it
any longer. I find myself not only disappointed in my expectations, but
seriously embarrassed in consequence.”
The young man paused, while an expression of pain went over his face,
which was reflected in that of his wife. He saw this, and read it as the
effect a glimpse of the real truth had produced on her mind.
“Go on. Speak plainly, Alfred. Am I not your wife?” said Clara, tenderly
and encouragingly.
“In a word, then, Clara, I have not, since our marriage, obtained a
single new sitter, nor received an order for a picture of any kind.”
“And is that all!” exclaimed the young wife, while a light went over her
face.
“Little as it may seem to you,” said Ellison in reply to this, “it is a
matter of great trouble to me. In my ability as a painter lies my only
claim upon the world. I have no fortune but in my talents and skill, and
if these find not employment, I am poor and helpless indeed.”
The young artist spoke with emotion, and as the last word was uttered,
he hid his face with his hands to conceal its troubled expression. Ah!
the terrible humiliation of that moment! Never through life was it
forgotten, and never through life could memory go back to the time when
a confession of his poverty was made, without a shrinking and shuddering
of the heart. Some moments elapsed before Clara made any answer; and
these were, to Ellison, moments of heart-aching suspense. The truth
having been wrung from him by mental torture, a breathless pause
followed.
“And so you fear,” said Clara, with something like rebuke in her voice,
“that I do not love you well enough to share your fortune, be it what it
may? Alfred, when I gave you my hand it was with no external or worldly
views in my mind. You said you loved me, and my own heart responded
fully to the sentiment. In giving you my hand, I gave you myself
entirely; for you were virtuous and I could _confide_ in as well as love
you. To share with you any condition in life, no matter how many
privations it may involve, will always be my highest pleasure—
‘E’en grief, divided with thy heart,
Were better far than joy apart.’
“And is this all that troubles you?” she added, in a cheerful voice.
“Heaven knows that it is enough, Clara! But what adds to the pain of my
embarrassment, is the fact, that for me to marry you with such slender
prospects was little more than a deception. It was unjust to you.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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