Great Catherine (Whom Glory Still Adores)Shaw, Bernard
General
Great Catherine (Whom Glory Still Adores)
Shaw, Bernard
Catherine II, Empress of Russia, 1729-1796 -- Drama; English drama (Comedy)
NARYSHKIN. Exactly. Also because if they didn't you might have them
flogged, dear Little Mother.
CATHERINE [springing energetically out of bed and seating herself on
the edge of it]. Flogged! I! A Liberal Empress! A philosopher! You are a
barbarian, Naryshkin. [She rises and turns to the courtiers.] And then,
as if I cared! [She turns again to Naryshkin.] You should know by this
time that I am frank and original in character, like an Englishman. [She
walks about restlessly.] No: what maddens me about all this ceremony
is that I am the only person in Russia who gets no fun out of my being
Empress. You all glory in me: you bask in my smiles: you get titles and
honors and favors from me: you are dazzled by my crown and my robes: you
feel splendid when you have been admitted to my presence; and when I
say a gracious word to you, you talk about it to everyone you meet for
a week afterwards. But what do I get out of it? Nothing. [She throws
herself into the chair. Naryshkin deprecates with a gesture; she hurls
an emphatic repetition at him.] Nothing!! I wear a crown until my neck
aches: I stand looking majestic until I am ready to drop: I have to
smile at ugly old ambassadors and frown and turn my back on young and
handsome ones. Nobody gives me anything. When I was only an Archduchess,
the English ambassador used to give me money whenever I wanted it--or
rather whenever he wanted to get anything out of my sacred predecessor
Elizabeth [the Court bows to the ground]; but now that I am Empress
he never gives me a kopek. When I have headaches and colics I envy the
scullerymaids. And you are not a bit grateful to me for all my care of
you, my work, my thought, my fatigue, my sufferings.
THE PRINCESS DASHKOFF. God knows, Little Mother, we all implore you
to give your wonderful brain a rest. That is why you get headaches.
Monsieur Voltaire also has headaches. His brain is just like yours.
CATHERINE. Dashkoff, what a liar you are! [Dashkoff curtsies with
impressive dignity.] And you think you are flattering me! Let me tell
you I would not give a rouble to have the brains of all the philosophers
in France. What is our business for today?
NARYSHKIN. The new museum, Little Mother. But the model will not be
ready until tonight.
CATHERINE [rising eagerly]. Yes, the museum. An enlightened capital
should have a museum. [She paces the chamber with a deep sense of the
importance of the museum.] It shall be one of the wonders of the world.
I must have specimens: specimens, specimens, specimens.
NARYSHKIN. You are in high spirits this morning, Little Mother.
CATHERINE [with sudden levity.] I am always in high spirits, even when
people do not bring me my slippers. [She runs to the chair and sits
down, thrusting her feet out.]
The two ladies rush to her feet, each carrying a slipper. Catherine,
about to put her feet into them, is checked by a disturbance in the
antechamber.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account