Great Catherine (Whom Glory Still Adores)Shaw, Bernard
General
Great Catherine (Whom Glory Still Adores)
Shaw, Bernard
Catherine II, Empress of Russia, 1729-1796 -- Drama; English drama (Comedy)
CATHERINE [tenderly]. Geliebter!
EDSTASTON. I don't know a word of German; but that sounded kind.
[Becoming hysterical.] Little Mother, beautiful little darling angel
mother: don't be cruel: untie me. Oh, I beg and implore you. Don't be
unkind. I shall go mad.
CATHERINE. You are expected to go mad with love when an Empress deigns
to interest herself in you. When an Empress allows you to see her foot
you should kiss it. Captain Edstaston, you are a booby.
EDSTASTON [indignantly]. I am nothing of the kind. I have been mentioned
in dispatches as a highly intelligent officer. And let me warn your
Majesty that I am not so helpless as you think. The English Ambassador
is in that ballroom. A shout from me will bring him to my side; and then
where will your Majesty be?
CATHERINE. I should like to see the English Ambassador or anyone else
pass through that curtain against my orders. It might be a stone wall
ten feet thick. Shout your loudest. Sob. Curse. Scream. Yell [she
tickles him unmercifully].
EDSTASTON [frantically]. Ahowyou!!!! Agh! oh! Stop! Oh Lord! Ya-a-a-ah!
[A tumult in the ballroom responds to his cries].
VOICES FROM THE BALLROOM. Stand back. You cannot pass. Hold her back
there. The Empress's orders. It is out of the question. No, little
darling, not in there. Nobody is allowed in there. You will be sent to
Siberia. Don't let her through there, on your life. Drag her back. You
will be knouted. It is hopeless, Mademoiselle: you must obey orders.
Guard there! Send some men to hold her.
CLAIRE'S VOICE. Let me go. They are torturing Charles in there. I WILL
go. How can you all dance as if nothing was happening? Let me go, I tell
you. Let--me--go. [She dashes through the curtain, no one dares follow
her.]
CATHERINE [rising in wrath]. How dare you?
CLAIRE [recklessly]. Oh, dare your grandmother! Where is my Charles?
What are they doing to him?
EDSTASTON [shouting]. Claire, loosen these straps, in Heaven's name.
Quick.
CLAIRE [seeing him and throwing herself on her knees at his side]. Oh,
how dare they tie you up like that! [To Catherine.] You wicked wretch!
You Russian savage! [She pounces on the straps, and begins unbuckling
them.]
CATHERINE [conquering herself with a mighty effort]. Now self-control.
Self-control, Catherine. Philosophy. Europe is looking on. [She forces
herself to sit down.]
EDSTASTON. Steady, dearest: it is the Empress. Call her your Imperial
Majesty. Call her Star of the North, Little Mother, Little Darling:
that's what she likes; but get the straps off.
CLAIRE. Keep quiet, dear: I cannot get them off if you move.
CATHERINE [calmly]. Keep quite still, Captain [she tickles him.]
EDSTASTON. Ow! Agh! Ahowyow!
CLAIRE [stopping dead in the act of unbuckling the straps and turning
sick with jealousy as she grasps the situation]. Was THAT what I thought
was your being tortured?
CATHERINE [urbanely]. That is the favorite torture of Catherine the
Second, Mademoiselle. I think the Captain enjoys it very much.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account