Great Jehoshaphat and Gully Dirt!Smith, Jewell Ellen
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Great Jehoshaphat and Gully Dirt!
Smith, Jewell Ellen
American fiction -- 20th century
Late Sunday afternoon a bunch of men—Wallace Goode's papa, Doctor
Elton, Mr. Shepherd, the new schoolteacher, and Uncle Dan, and others
besides—came to talk to Papa about something bad, something none of
them liked. But exactly what, I couldn't find out. Mister Goode said it
would rile a rattlesnake. Whatever it was had happened Saturday night
over at Mister Goode's house—long after he had gone to bed and while
Mrs. Goode was sitting by the window brushing her hair.
All the men had solemn looks on their faces. And when the doctor said,
"Maybe we ought'a get him out of the settlement before somebody kills
him," the deep lines on Papa's forehead got deeper, and he took all the
men into our front room and closed the door.
Before Wiley or Mierd or I could ask Mama why half the men in Drake Eye
Springs had come and what they were going to do, Mama told Wiley to go
chop wood. "And Mierd, you take Bandershanks over to Grandpa's house
and stay there till I call you."
Mama started shooing Mierd and me out through the hall toward the front
porch, while Wiley ran on ahead. Even though the door to the front room
was shut tight, we could hear all the men talking, Mister Goode louder
than the rest. "If he tries to come in on my wife again, I'll shoot to
kill!" Grabbing my hand and Mierd's, Mama started pulling us along.
"Girls, hurry!"
At the porch steps we met Wiley running back.
"Mama, Ned's out yonder at the gate. That little humped-over Stray,
too. See them?"
Both Ned and Stray were astraddle of the donkey.
"Find out what they want, son."
"Ned's come to get Doctor Elton! I don't know who's bad off sick. He
just said Miss Dink sent him. Said Mister Ward ain't to home, and
something about Miss Ophelia's time coming."
"What time, Mama?"
"Never mind, Bandershanks. You girls scoot on out to Grandpa's, like I
told you! I'll go tell the doctor. Wiley, get on to the woodpile. I
declare to my soul!" Mama hurried back up the hall, muttering something
that sounded like "Demented fool, climbing in windows—worse—his poor
wife home in labor."
Mierd wasn't listening. She had stooped over to tie her shoelace. "Come
on, Bandershanks. Let's skip to Grandpa's doorsteps! Betcha I can beat
you there!"
"Mierd, what's labor?"
"Just another word for work. Come on! Good grannies, you don't know how
to skip worth a hoot!"
"I do, too! Watch me!"
Instead of going on into Grandpa Thad's house, we sat down on the
doorsteps to watch Ned and Little Stray and their droopy-eared donkey.
Stray was still up on the donkey's back. Ned was standing by him,
holding the bridle. Mierd thought Ned must be waiting to get to talk to
the doctor.
Just then we saw Doctor Elton come out, walking as fast as he could
move his stiff, stubby legs. His pants cuffs flapped against his shoe
tops, and Mierd said he reminded her of a pepper shaker bobbling along.
He jammed his hat on his head, said something to Ned, then got in his
buggy and drove off.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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