We went to Devonshire--I had had a small legacy a few months earlier,
and I did not permit money cares to trouble my new and beautiful
happiness. My only fear was that she would be saddened by thoughts of
her father; but I am thankful to remember that in those first days she,
too, was happy--so happy that there seemed to be hardly room in her
mind for any thought but of me. And every hour of every day I said to my
soul--
"But for that portent, whatever it boded, she might have been not my
wife but his."
The first four or five days of our marriage are flowers that memory
keeps always fresh. Kate's face had recovered its wild-rose bloom, and
she laughed and sang and jested and enjoyed all our little daily
adventures with the fullest, freest-hearted gaiety. Then I committed the
supreme imbecility of my life--one of those acts of folly on which one
looks back all one's life with a half stamp of the foot, and the
unanswerable question, "How on earth could I have been such a fool?"
We were sitting in a little sitting-room, hideous in intention, but
redeemed by blazing fire and the fact that two were there, sitting
hand-in-hand, gazing into the fire and talking of their future and of
their love. There was nothing to trouble us; no one had discovered our
whereabouts, and my wife's fear of Benoliel's revenge seemed to have
dissolved before the flame of our happiness.
And as we sat there, peaceful and untroubled, the Imp of the Perverse
jogged my elbow, as, alas! he does so often, and I was moved to tell my
wife that I, too, had heard that unearthly midnight music--that her
hearing of it was not, as she had grown to think, a mere nightmare--a
strange dream--but something more strange, more significant. I told her
how I had heard the mass for the dead, and all the tale of that night.
She listened silently, and I thought her strangely indifferent. When I
had finished, she took her hand from mine and covered her face.
"I believe it was a warning to us to flee temptation. We ought never to
have married. Oh, my poor father!"
Her tone was one that I had never heard before. Its hopeless misery
appalled me. And justly. For no arguments, no entreaties, no caresses,
could win my wife back to the mood of an hour before.
She tried to be cheerful, but her gaiety was forced, and her laughter
stung my heart.
She spoke no more about the music, and when I tried to reason with her
about it she smiled a gloomy little smile, and said--
"I cannot be happy. I will not be happy. It is wrong. I have been very
selfish and wicked. You think me very idiotic, I know, but I believe
there is a curse on us. We shall never be happy again."
"Don't you love me any more?" I asked like a fool.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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