"Then you choose--you deliberately choose--to give up your hopes of
heaven for me, as I gave up mine for you?"
"I decline," I said, "to give up my hope of heaven on any terms. Tell me
what I must do, that you and I may make our heaven here--as now, my dear
love."
"I will tell you to-morrow," she said. "Be alone here to-morrow
night--twelve is ghost's time, isn't it?--and then I will come out of
the picture and never go back to it. I shall live with you, and die, and
be buried, and there will be an end of me. But we shall live first, my
heart's heart."
I laid my head on her knee. A strange drowsiness overcame me. Holding
her hand against my cheek, I lost consciousness. When I awoke the grey
November dawn was glimmering, ghost-like, through the uncurtained
window. My head was pillowed on my arm, which rested--I raised my head
quickly--ah! not on my lady's knee, but on the needle-worked cushion of
the straight-backed chair. I sprang to my feet. I was stiff with cold,
and dazed with dreams, but I turned my eyes on the picture. There she
sat, my lady, my dear love. I held out my arms, but the passionate cry I
would have uttered died on my lips. She had said twelve o'clock. Her
lightest word was my law. So I only stood in front of the picture and
gazed into those grey-green eyes till tears of passionate happiness
filled my own.
"Oh, my dear, my dear, how shall I pass the hours till I hold you
again?"
No thought, then, of my whole life's completion and consummation being a
dream.
I staggered up to my room, fell across my bed, and slept heavily and
dreamlessly. When I awoke it was high noon. Mildred and her mother were
coming to lunch.
I remembered, at one shock, Mildred's coming and her existence.
Now, indeed, the dream began.
With a penetrating sense of the futility of any action apart from _her_,
I gave the necessary orders for the reception of my guests. When Mildred
and her mother came I received them with cordiality; but my genial
phrases all seemed to be some one else's. My voice sounded like an echo;
my heart was other where.
Still, the situation was not intolerable until the hour when afternoon
tea was served in the drawing-room. Mildred and her mother kept the
conversational pot boiling with a profusion of genteel commonplaces, and
I bore it, as one can bear mild purgatories when one is in sight of
heaven. I looked up at my sweetheart in the ebony frame, and I felt that
anything that might happen, any irresponsible imbecility, any bathos of
boredom, was nothing, if, after it all, _she_ came to me again.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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