_Miss Ilex._ Indeed, my dear Morgana, it is very little of a story: but
such as it is, I am willing to tell it you. I had the credit of being
handsome and accomplished. I had several lovers; but my inner thoughts
distinguished only one; and he, I think, had a decided preference for
me, but it was a preference of present impression. If some Genius had
commanded him to choose a wife from any company of which I was one, he
would, I feel sure, have chosen me; but he was very much of an universal
lover, and was always overcome by the smiles of present beauty. He
was of a romantic turn of mind: he disliked and avoided the ordinary
pursuits of young men: he delighted in the society of accomplished young
women, and in that alone. It was the single link between him and the
world. He would disappear for weeks at a time, wandering in forests,
climbing mountains, and descending into the dingles of mountain-streams,
with no other companion than a Newfoundland dog; a large black dog,
with a white breast, four white paws, and a white tip to his tail: a
beautiful affectionate dog: I often patted him on the head, and fed him
with my hand. He knew me as well as Bajardo{1} knew Angelica.
1 Rinaldo's horse: he had escaped from his master, and had
revelled Sacripante with his heels:--
Tears started into her eyes at the recollection of the dog. She paused
for a moment.
_Miss Gryll._ I see the remembrance is painful Do not proceed.
_Miss Ilex._ No, my dear. I would not, if I could, forget that dog.
Well, my young gentleman, as I have said, was a sort of universal lover,
and made a sort of half-declaration to half the young women he knew:
sincerely for the moment to all: but with more permanent earnestness,
more constant return, to me than to any other. If I had met him with
equal earnestness, if I could have said or implied to him in any way,
'Take me while you may, or think of me no more,' I am persuaded I should
not now write myself spinster. But I wrapped myself up in reserve. I
thought it fitting that all advances should come from him: that I
should at most show nothing more than willingness to hear, not even the
semblance of anxiety to receive them. So nothing came of our love but
remembrance and regret. Another girl, whom I am sure he loved less, but
who understood him better, acted towards him as I ought to have done,
and became his wife. Therefore, my dear, I applaud your moral courage,
and regret that I had it not when the occasion required it.
_Miss Gryll._ My lover, if I may so call him, differs from yours in
this: that he is not wandering in his habits, nor versatile in his
affections.
_Miss Ilex._ The peculiar system of domestic affection in which he
was brought up, and which his maturer years have confirmed, presents a
greater obstacle to you than any which my lover's versatility presented
to me, if I had known how to deal with it.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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