Those only who have experienced a suddenly overwhelming grief at
discovering the perfidy of the person on whom their affection is set
know the intense regret, the anger, and the jealous hatred of the one by
whose instrumentality their idol has been shattered. If ever the spirit
of murder enters a man's soul it is then.
I thought only of revenge.
Did I not know enough of this man who had blighted my wife's happiness
to prove him a murderer and to send him to the gallows? Should I not be
even fulfilling my duty in doing so, as well as avenging my own wrongs
at the same time?
Yes. I resolved, after much commune with myself, to do this on the
morrow. First I would compel Vera to disclose his name, then seek him
out, and hand him over to the police.
With these and other maddening thoughts coursing through my brain I had
cast myself upon the trunk of a fallen tree, and must have sat there for
some time as, when I became conscious of things about me, the grey dawn
had appeared through the fast-falling foliage.
Rising, I slowly retraced my steps to the house, pacing the terrace
several times in deep soliloquy. The stars had disappeared, the chill
breeze stirred the boughs softly, and the air was impregnated with the
perfume of decaying leaves. How well I remember leaning upon the stone
balustrade, gazing away down the misty Dene, and reflecting that ere the
morrow's sun had set Vera and I would be parted forever; for after such
a discovery I could trust her no longer, neither could we be anything
more to each other than strangers.
Need I say how heartily I cursed myself for having been prevailed upon
to visit her at Richmond, to listen to her lame excuses, to be softened
by her endearing words? No. For the thousandth time I told myself I
had been fascinated by her beauty in the way the bird is fascinated by
the snake; her toils were about me, and until the present moment I had
always been too weak to tear them asunder, to lift the veil from my own
eyes, and see her in her true character--that of an adventuress.
But that time had now arrived, and though I confess I was beside myself
with grief to find the woman I had loved so fondly, guilty of such
scheming and such treachery, I was, nevertheless, pleased to be in
possession of the truth. Now I was aware of the worst, and should know
how to act.
Presently I turned and passed through the French window into my study.
It was useless retiring, for I could not sleep with such thoughts
gnawing at my heart, so I flung myself into my writing-chair and
thought.
I sat motionless until the warm sun shone through the open window and
the birds outside had broken forth into song, when it occurred to me
that as I had resolved to leave the place in a few hours it would be
well to place my papers in order. This I commenced to do.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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