She was rather glad that Guy, perhaps to punish her for the loss of
control, said he must go and work instead of coming back to tea at the
Rectory. It strangely gave her the ability to smile at him and be in
their parting herself again, whereas had he come back with her she knew
that she would still have felt irritated. Her smile may have abashed his
ill-humour, for he seemed inclined to change his mind about the need for
work; but she would not let him and hurried towards home at the back of
the west wind. Should she ask her sisters if they had seen her in the
Abbey? It would be better to wait until they said something first. It
would really be best to say nothing about this afternoon. Tea was in the
nursery that day, for the Rector was holding some sort of colloquy in
the drawing-room which he always used for parochial business, because
he dreaded having his seeds scattered by the awkward fingers of the
flock.
Tea had not come in yet, and Pauline took her familiar seat in the
window, glad to be out of the wind but pondering a little mournfully the
lawn mottled with leaves, and the lily-pond that was being seamed and
crinkled by every gust that skated across the surface. When the others
arrived, Pauline knew that she turned round to greet them defiantly,
although she would have given much not to feel excuseful like this.
"You didn't see Monica and me?" Margaret asked.
"Only after you'd gone too far for us to call to you," Pauline answered,
nervously assuring herself that Margaret had not tried to 'catch her
out,' as Janet would have said.
"We had taken the short cut through the Abbey," Monica explained.
Pauline felt that what Monica meant to say had been: 'we did not spy
upon you deliberately.' And that she should have had this instinct of
putting her sisters in the wrong prepared her for something unpleasant,
that and the fuss her mother was making over the tea-tray. Pauline was
more than ever grateful to the impulse which had not allowed Guy to
change his mind and come back with her. As soon as tea was over,
Margaret and Monica went away to practise a duet; and in the manner of
their going from the room Pauline felt the louring of the atmosphere.
Her mother began at once:
"Pauline, I'm surprized at your going into the Abbey with Guy."
"Well, it was really an accident. I mean it was because we wanted not to
meet any of the Brydones, who were rushing at us from every side."
Pauline tried to laugh, but her mother looked down at the milk jug and
flushed nearly to crimson in the embarrassment of something she was
forcing herself to say.
"It's not merely going into the Abbey ... no ... not merely that ... no,
not merely going into the Abbey ... but to let Guy make love to you like
that is so vulgar. Pauline, it's the sort of way that servants behave
when they're in love."
She sprang from the window-seat.
"Mother, what do you mean?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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