Guy was very indignant when he heard from Pauline the sequel of her
sisters' vigilance. That they should afterward have tried to atone with
gentleness for what they had made her suffer did not avail with him.
Monica and Margaret now impressed him with their unworldly beauty in a
strange way, for they became sinister figures like the Lady Geraldine in
Christabel, sly malignant sylphs set in ambush to haunt the romantic
path of his love. He was intensely aware that he ought not to resent
their interference, but that he ought in fact to acknowledge the justice
of it and by a stoical endeavour prove himself entitled to the cares of
this long engagement. Actually Guy was enduring a violent jealousy, and
illogically he began to declare how the others were jealous of him and
Pauline. The consciousness that he could not carry her off into
immediate marriage galled him and he suffered all the pangs of an
unmerited servitude. He and Pauline became the prisoners of tyrants who
were urging them to accept the yoke of convention; the more he suffered,
the more he knew in his heart that he was culpable, and the more
culpable he recognized himself, the more he chafed against the burden of
waiting. All the resolutions that with the announcement of their
betrothal had seemed to sail before a prospering breeze now turned and
beat up against adverse influences and were every moment in danger of
being irreparably wrecked.
Naturally coincident with all the stress of a situation, that owing to
the temperament of the Greys was never relieved by discussion, was a
complete failure to advance on the private road of his poetical
ambition. All that he had written was seeming vain and bad: all that he
was now trying to write deteriorated with every word painfully inscribed
upon the cheerless empty page. He had conceived a set of eclogues that
were to mark his contempt for the feverish incompetence of the modern
school, whose ears had been corrupted by Wagner's filthy din; and all he
could manage to achieve were seeming the banal inspirations of
Mendelssohn. Guy was like an alchemist perpetually on the verge of
discovering the stone that will transmute base metals to gold as he
tried to find the secret by which such an one as Beethoven could purify
with art the most violent emotions of humanity, yet always preserve
their intrinsic value. He craved the secret which even the most obscure
Elizabethans seemed to have possessed, that unearthly power of harmony
which could fuse all baseness in a glittering song. Passion had never
lost itself in arid decoration when they sang; nor yet had it ever
betrayed itself with that impudently direct appeal these modern lyrists
made, these shameless Rousseaus of verse. Yet he was as bad as any of
them, for he was either like them when he tried to write his heart, or
he expired in the mere sound of words like the degenerate ruck of the
Caroline heirs to a great tradition. He was almost on the point of
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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