'Why, Mr. Mannering, people must have brandy and tea, and there's none
in the country but what comes this way; and then there's short
accounts, and maybe a keg or two, or a dozen pounds, left at your
stable-door, instead of a d--d lang account at Christmas from Duncan
Robb, the grocer at Kippletringan, who has aye a sum to make up, and
either wants ready money or a short-dated bill. Now, Hatteraick will
take wood, or he'll take bark, or he'll take barley, or he'll take just
what's convenient at the time. I'll tell you a gude story about that.
There was ance a laird--that's Macfie of Gudgeonford,--he had a great
number of kain hens--that's hens that the tenant pays to the landlord,
like a sort of rent in kind. They aye feed mine very ill; Luckie
Finniston sent up three that were a shame to be seen only last week,
and yet she has twelve bows sowing of victual; indeed her goodman,
Duncan Finniston--that's him that's gone--(we must all die, Mr.
Mannering, that's ower true)--and, speaking of that, let us live in the
meanwhile, for here's breakfast on the table, and the Dominie ready to
say the grace.'
The Dominie did accordingly pronounce a benediction, that exceeded in
length any speech which Mannering had yet heard him utter. The tea,
which of course belonged to the noble Captain Hatteraick's trade, was
pronounced excellent. Still Mannering hinted, though with due delicacy,
at the risk of encouraging such desperate characters. 'Were it but in
justice to the revenue, I should have supposed--'
'Ah, the revenue lads'--for Mr. Bertram never embraced a general or
abstract idea, and his notion of the revenue was personified in the
commissioners, surveyors, comptrollers, and riding officers whom he
happened to know--'the revenue lads can look sharp eneugh out for
themselves, no ane needs to help them; and they have a' the soldiers to
assist them besides; and as to justice--you 'll be surprised to hear
it, Mr. Mannering, but I am not a justice of peace!'
Mannering assumed the expected look of surprise, but thought within
himself that the worshipful bench suffered no great deprivation from
wanting the assistance of his good-humoured landlord. Mr. Bertram had
now hit upon one of the few subjects on which he felt sore, and went on
with some energy.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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