Sir Thomas Kittlecourt, like other members in the same situation,
posted down to his county, and met but an indifferent reception. He was
a partizan of the old administration; and the friends of the new had
already set about an active canvass in behalf of John Featherhead,
Esq., who kept the best hounds and hunters in the shire. Among others
who joined the standard of revolt was Gilbert Glossin, writer in--,
agent for the Laird of Ellangowan. This honest gentleman had either
been refused some favour by the old member, or, what is as probable, he
had got all that he had the most distant pretension to ask, and could
only look to the other side for fresh advancement. Mr. Glossin had a
vote upon Ellangowan's property; and he was now determined that his
patron should have one also, there being no doubt which side Mr.
Bertram would embrace in the contest. He easily persuaded Ellangowan
that it would be creditable to him to take the field at the head of as
strong a party as possible; and immediately went to work, making votes,
as every Scotch lawyer knows how, by splitting and subdividing the
superiorities upon this ancient and once powerful barony. These were so
extensive that, by dint of clipping and paring here, adding and eking
there, and creating over-lords upon all the estate which Bertram held
of the crown, they advanced at the day of contest at the head of ten as
good men of parchment as ever took the oath of trust and possession.
This strong reinforcement turned the dubious day of battle. The
principal and his agent divided the honour; the reward fell to the
latter exclusively. Mr. Gilbert Glossin was made clerk of the peace,
and Godfrey Bertram had his name inserted in a new commission of
justices, issued immediately upon the sitting of the parliament.
This had been the summit of Mr. Bertram's ambition; not that he liked
either the trouble or the responsibility of the office, but he thought
it was a dignity to which he was well entitled, and that it had been
withheld from him by malice prepense. But there is an old and true
Scotch proverb, 'Fools should not have chapping sticks'; that is,
weapons of offence. Mr. Bertram was no sooner possessed of the judicial
authority which he had so much longed for than he began to exercise it
with more severity than mercy, and totally belied all the opinions
which had hitherto been formed of his inert good-nature. We have read
somewhere of a justice of peace who, on being nominated in the
commission, wrote a letter to a bookseller for the statutes respecting
his official duty in the following orthography--'Please send the ax
relating to a gustus pease.' No doubt, when this learned gentleman had
possessed himself of the axe, he hewed the laws with it to some
purpose. Mr. Bertram was not quite so ignorant of English grammar as
his worshipful predecessor; but Augustus Pease himself could not have
used more indiscriminately the weapon unwarily put into his hand.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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