At length they arrived at the churchyard gates, and from thence, amid
the gaping of two or three dozen of idle women with infants in their
arms, and accompanied by some twenty children, who ran gambolling and
screaming alongside of the sable procession, they finally arrived at
the burial-place of the Singleside family. This was a square enclosure
in the Greyfriars churchyard, guarded on one side by a veteran angel
without a nose, and having only one wing, who had the merit of having
maintained his post for a century, while his comrade cherub, who had
stood sentinel on the corresponding pedestal, lay a broken trunk among
the hemlock, burdock, and nettles which grew in gigantic luxuriance
around the walls of the mausoleum. A moss-grown and broken inscription
informed the reader that in the year 1650 Captain Andrew Bertram, first
of Singleside, descended of the very ancient and honourable house of
Ellangowan, had caused this monument to be erected for himself and his
descendants. A reasonable number of scythes and hour-glasses, and
death's heads and cross-bones, garnished the following sprig of
sepulchral poetry to the memory of the founder of the mausoleum:--
Nathaniel's heart, Bezaleel's hand
If ever any had,
These boldly do I say had he,
Who lieth in this bed.
Here, then, amid the deep black fat loam into which her ancestors were
now resolved, they deposited the body of Mrs. Margaret Bertram; and,
like soldiers returning from a military funeral, the nearest relations
who might be interested in the settlements of the lady urged the
dog-cattle of the hackney coaches to all the speed of which they were
capable, in order to put an end to farther suspense on that interesting
topic.
CHAPTER XXXVIII
Die and endow a college or a cat.
POPE.
There is a fable told by Lucian, that while a troop of monkeys, well
drilled by an intelligent manager, were performing a tragedy with great
applause, the decorum of the whole scene was at once destroyed, and the
natural passions of the actors called forth into very indecent and
active emulation, by a wag who threw a handful of nuts upon the stage.
In like manner, the approaching crisis stirred up among the expectants
feelings of a nature very different from those of which, under the
superintendence of Mr. Mortcloke, they had but now been endeavouring to
imitate the expression. Those eyes which were lately devoutly cast up
to heaven, or with greater humility bent solemnly upon earth, were now
sharply and alertly darting their glances through shuttles, and trunks,
and drawers, and cabinets, and all the odd corners of an old maiden
lady's repositories. Nor was their search without interest, though they
did not find the will of which they were in quest.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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