"_Never!_" said H. R. so emphatically that Lubin extended his right hand. They shook warmly. A sound of applause came to their ears. The Mayor flushed with vexation. It was premature, he thought. He was wrong. It was Grace Goodchild. Andrew Barrett ran in excitedly. "Did you hear it?" he asked his chief. "Say, she is smiling to beat the band and the crowd is going crazy. Hear that?" And he began to dance a jig. H. R. seized him by the arm and said: "In exactly two minutes I shall enter." Andrew Barrett rushed away to tip on the _vox populi_. "Gentlemen," said H. R. to the reporters, "you had better go in." They obeyed him. They were escorted to their table on the stage. They found there seven military bands that had volunteered their services and also their own weapons. In the background of the stage was a huge placard: FIFTY THOUSAND PEOPLE CAN BE SERVED, FED, AND FIRED IN 6-3/4 MINUTES BY OUR SYSTEM! S. A. S. A., Dept. T. O. K. H. R., _Sec._ At each reporter's place was a typewritten sheet containing intelligent statistics of this stupendous charity. The reporters saw in the arena long strings of tables, each six hundred and eighteen feet long, and benches to match. Each guest was allowed nineteen and one-half inches. The dishes were of water-proofed paper stamped S. A. S. A. Above each table were aluminum-painted pipes with faucets every ten seats for soup, milk, tea, and coffee. "By keeping the tea, coffee, and soup in circulation wholesome warm drinks are secured," read the official statement, "besides obviating the assistance of eight hundred and sixteen waiters, who would have had to walk an aggregate of six hundred and seventy-seven miles from tables to kitchen." The solid food was brought to the scores of small serving-tables by means of overhead conveyors and traveling-cranes, a sort of gigantic cash-carrier system operated by electricity. The food came in individual covered dishes, also of water-proofed paper. Everything was automatic. The S. A. S. A. system prevented spilling, waste, delay, inefficient waiters, and the dissatisfaction of the guests. "You will observe," went on the official statement, "that for the first time in history the beneficiaries of the bounty of their fellow-men are treated as honored cash guests and not compelled to wait. The bread of charity is hard, but not when served by the S. A. S. A." Leaflets containing much the same information had been placed in each of the thousands of seats in the Garden in lieu of programs. As each man entered he saw the pipes and the traveling-cranes and the mechanical waiters, and read the placard on the stage. "Ain't it great?" inquired every charitable ticket-buyer. "_In six and three-quarter minutes!_ No regiments of waiters. Everything automatic. Say, that H. R. is a wonder!" It naturally took some time before they remembered to look at the starving people who were sitting at the long tables waiting to be fed.