Advertising -- Fiction; Bank employees -- Fiction; Labor unions -- Fiction; New York (N.Y.) -- Fiction; Satire
Mr. Goodchild shook his head violently and again opened his mouth. But
H. R. once more surpassed him in speed and pursued, calmly
argumentative:
"Or suppose you did not believe in vaccination. Is your opinion to be
allowed to prevail against the advice of your competent family physician
until Grace gets the disease and you are forced to acknowledge that you
were wrong? Or would even the sight of the most beautiful face in the
world pitted and pockmarked fail to shake your own faith in your own
infallibility?"
Grace shuddered. "_Father!_" she exclaimed, horror-stricken, and glared
at Mr. Goodchild. She was now thinking of paternal opposition in terms
of smallpox.
"But--" angrily expostulated Mr. Goodchild.
"Exactly," agreed H. R., hastily. "That's it. Now for a favor. Will you
let me talk business with you? _My_ business!"
Mr. Goodchild's business was to know all about the business of others.
But he did not take it home with him. However, before he could do more
than shake his head, H. R. went on:
"I am organizing six companies."
That sounded like good business. But Mr. Goodchild nodded
non-committally from force of habit.
"The S. A. S. A. Imperial Sandwich Board Corporation. Capital stock, one
million, of which forty per cent. goes to the public for cash, forty per
cent. given to me--"
"Forty?" irrepressibly objected Mr. Goodchild.
"Forty," repeated H. R., firmly. "I am no hog. I get what my ideas,
designs, and patents are worth at a fair valuation. And twenty per cent.
goes to the S. A. S. A."
"Why?" came from Mr. Goodchild before he could realize that he was
speaking bankerwise.
"Because the S. A. S. A. will insist upon the company's boards being
used by all our customers. And besides, as head of the S. A. S. A., I
vote that twenty per cent. I thus control sixty per cent. and--"
Mr. Goodchild brightened up, but remembered himself and said, very
coldly:
"Go on."
"We shall manufacture sandwiches of all kinds, at from one dollar to ten
thousand dollars and upward, and--"
"Dreadful word! Loathe it!"
"--The S. A. S. A. Memento Mori Manufacturing Company to manufacture and
sell the statuettes of the Ultimate Sandwich. Same capitalization. Same
holdings. You see, I have sold my ideas, designs, and patents so that
later on nobody can say my companies were overcapitalized. There are
also the Rapid Restaurant Service Appliance Company, and four others.
Same capitalization; same holdings. The money is all raised. And let me
say," finished H. R., sternly accusing, "that the people who furnish the
cash and buy the stock get _something_ for their money."
"That's all very well," began Mr. Goodchild, contemptuously, "but--"
"Exactly," said H. R. "I propose to transfer all our accounts to your
bank. You know you said you'd like to have mine when I became famous."
"I know nothing about your companies, and care less. But I want to tell
you right now--"
"What interest are you going to allow us on our balances?" cut in H. R.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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