Advertising -- Fiction; Bank employees -- Fiction; Labor unions -- Fiction; New York (N.Y.) -- Fiction; Satire
"Big men are above petty feelings," said H. R. "You will, in turn, admit
that you made a mistake in not advancing me in the bank-- Wait! I'll
listen later, as long as you wish. You object, I suppose, to my methods;
but let me point out to you that I have arrived! Where should I be if I
hadn't been talked about? And where shall I land if I keep on
hypnotizing the newspapers into giving me columns of space? You know
what publicity means in business to-day, don't you? Well, just bear in
mind that I not only make news, but, by jingo, I am news! There is only
one other man in the United States who can say that, and you may have to
vote for him for President, notwithstanding your fear of him. Wait!"
H. R. held up his hand, took out his watch, and went on: "For an entire
minute think of what I have said before you answer. Don't answer until
the time is up. One minute. Begin! Now!"
H. R. held his hand detainingly two inches in front of Mr. Goodchild's
lips. Mr. Goodchild did not open them. He thought and thought, and he
became conscious that he had to argue with himself to find said answer.
"Speak!" commanded H. R. when the minute was up.
"The cases are not analogous. Publicity has its uses and--"
"It has this one use--that you can always capitalize it. It spells
dollars--and, more than that, easy dollars, untainted dollars, dollars
that nobody begrudges you and that nobody wants to take away from
you--not even the Administration at Washington. Think over that for two
minutes. And he pulled out his watch once more.
"Look here, I--"
"Damn it, don't talk! Think!" said H. R. so determinedly that Mr.
Goodchild almost feared a scene would be enacted which he should regret
after seeing it in the newspapers. "You have wasted forty seconds in
overcoming your anger at my manner of speech," continued H. R.,
reprovingly. "Begin all over. Two minutes. Now!" And before Mr.
Goodchild's wrath could become articulate he rose and walked over to a
window.
H. R. stared across the street. It was there he had captured Fleming.
How far away that day seemed now--and how far below! The two minutes
were up. He turned to Mr. Goodchild.
"Look here; you bank presidents are an unscientific lot. You ought to be
psychologists instead of being merely bookkeepers. It is knowledge of
people you need--not of human nature at its worst, or of political
economy, or of finance, but of people--the people who vote; the people
who in the end say whether you are to be allowed to enjoy your money and
theirs in comfort or not. Study them! You sit here and disapprove of my
methods because they violate some rule established years ago by somebody
as radical then as I appear to be now. It is not a question of good
taste or bad taste. It was good taste once to kill each other in duels,
and to drink two bottles of port, and to employ children in factories.
The suffragettes are attacked for methods--"
"Do you mean to say you approve of their slashing pictures--"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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