Advertising -- Fiction; Bank employees -- Fiction; Labor unions -- Fiction; New York (N.Y.) -- Fiction; Satire
The band-master, being a native-born, repeated the price--unchanged. But
he was no match for H. Rutgers, who took a card from his pocket, looked
at what the band-master imagined was a list of addresses of other bands,
and then said, "Let me see; from here to--" He pulled out his watch and
muttered to himself, but audible by the band-master, "It will take me
half an hour or more."
H. Rutgers closed his watch with a sharp and angry snap and then
determinedly named a sum exactly two-thirds of what the band-master had
fixed as the irreducible minimum. It was more than Hendrik could
possibly pay.
The band-master shook his head, so H. Rutgers said, irascibly:
"For Heaven's sake, quit talking. I'm nearly crazy with the
arrangements. Do you think you're the only band in New York or that I
never hired one before? Here's the Mayor's permit." He showed it to the
musical director, who was thereby enabled to see _National Street
Advertising Men's Association_, and went on: "Now be at Grand Central
Station, Lexington Avenue entrance, at 3.45 Saturday afternoon. The
train gets in at 4. I'll be there before you are. We'll go from the
depot to Weinpusslacher's for dinner."
"Of course, we get our dinners," said the band-master in the tone of
voice of a man who has surrendered, but denies it to the reporters.
"Yes. You'll be there sure?"
"Yes. But, say, we ought to get--"
"Not a damned cent more," said H. Rutgers, pugnaciously, in order to
forestall requests for part payment in advance.
"I wasn't going to ask you for more money, but for a few--"
"Then why waste my time? Don't fail me!"
Then Hendrik Rutgers put the finishing touches on the work of
organization. He rented offices in the Allied Arts Building, sent a
sign-painter to decorate the ground-glass doors, and ordered some
official stationery in a rush. He promised the agent to return with the
president and sign the lease.
Where everybody distrusts everybody else there is nothing like promising
to sign documents!
He bought some office furniture on exactly the same plan.
On Friday night the unionized sandwich-men took their signs and boards
to the trysting-place, Twenty-ninth Street and Ninth Avenue, to have new
advertisements of Hendrik's composition painted thereon. The boards did
not belong to the members, but in a good cause all property is the
cause's. Each of the original fourteen brought recruits. The street was
almost blocked. The two sign-painters worked like nine beavers, and
Hendrik and the young man in steel-rimmed spectacles helped. When the
clamor became threatening Hendrik counted his men twice, aloud. There
were eighty-four of them. They knew it was eighty-four, having heard him
say it, as he intended they should. He then took them to the corner
boozery.
He had only two dollars. There were eighty-four thirsty. Therefore,
"Eighty beers!" he yelled, majestically.
"_Eighty-four!_" shouted eighty-four voices.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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