Advertising -- Fiction; Bank employees -- Fiction; Labor unions -- Fiction; New York (N.Y.) -- Fiction; Satire
Knowing this, WE HOPE!
An octogenarian, not over four and one-half feet tall, very
frail-looking, was next. To him H. Rutgers had assigned this banner:
If Society won't feed us
We'll feed the Society of Worms--
POTTER'S FIELD
Under a big foot--property of a popular chiropodist on lower Broadway;
terms twenty-five cents per, five for a dollar--was this:
We are the World's Unfortunates:
BORN TO BE KICKED!
Then followed a haggard-faced man who looked like an exaggerated picture
of poverty. He carried:
There are poorer than we.
HELP THEM!
A man with the stride of a conqueror bore a banner:
AND STILL WE BELIEVE IN GOD!
The crowd looked puzzled. What the dickens did believing in God have to
do with anything? To end the bother of thinking they looked at the next
one.
Look at Fifth Avenue!
WHY?
See what we are!
WHY?
They obeyed. They saw Fifth Avenue. Why? They did not know why. And then
they saw what the sandwich-men were. And they wondered why the
sandwich-men asked why. Why not? Pshaw! The placard that followed was:
If you wish to see
One hundred starving men
Follow us.
YOU WILL REMEMBER IT!
Say, that was something that nobody had seen and therefore everybody
could joke about. Every woman had the same remark and the same grin:
"Haven't I seen my husband?"
Before the parade had gone half a square Fifth Avenue was blocked. Apart
from the interference of the band and the sandwiches with vehicular
traffic, there was the paralysis of the pedestrians. The Peacock Parade
halted. Slim figures, half-naked, flat-bosomed, stalked swayingly to the
curb and stared with eyes in which was the insolent sex challenge that
New York males answer with furs and jewels. And as they looked the
challenge of sex died in the eyes of the women: the marchers had no sex;
anybody could see they had no money!
And the men, too, ceased to look stallion-eyed at the women and gazed on
the parade of sandwich-men, who, in the middle of the street, with the
machines and the horses, slouched on--almost rubbing valuable varnish on
automobiles and carriages, careless beasts!
Presently the hurrying crowds slowed their gait and kept step to
Chopin's dirge--_slowly! slowly!_--until all Fifth Avenue was a vast
funeral procession; only the marchers could not have told you what it
was that long since had died of gold on Fifth Avenue! Slowly! Slowly!
And with the funereal gait other changes came--in the grimace of the
over-red lips and the look of the over-bold eyes. But never the
slightest change in the color of the cheeks, which was there to stay, in
rain, shine, or snow.
"What is it? What is it?" whispered ten thousand people.
From the middle of the street it sounded like the whimper of ten
thousand little foamy waves dying on a flat beach. It made the filthy
bipeds who marched look at the thronged sidewalks.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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