Advertising -- Fiction; Bank employees -- Fiction; Labor unions -- Fiction; New York (N.Y.) -- Fiction; Satire
"Keep on looking. _I_ know you want me. When _you_ discover it, we'll do
business."
"Go to the foot of the class," said H. R., impassively. You could tell
nothing from his voice. It is a valuable gift.
The young man eyed H. R. shrewdly, then walked to a corner of the room,
sat down, pulled a memorandum-book from his pocket, and began to count
his contracts in advance.
"Your _last_ name, please," said H. R., looking as if what he had asked
for was the _right_ name. The assumption of guilt has the effect of
putting even the innocent on the defensive. The strategic inferiority of
the defensive is always acknowledged by the defeated--even before the
defeat.
He jotted down the replies, one after another. Within one and
three-quarter minutes these men felt themselves deprived of their
individual entities. They had been turned into a list of surnames, a
fragment of the rabble.
The leader stood alone--he alone had a _first_ name! Smith merely votes;
John Smith has his own opinion. H. R. had acted instinctively. He never
would have had the conscious wisdom of an editorial writer. There are
many editorial writers in all republics. Hence, practical politics.
"Where did you see my advertisement?" asked H. R. "One at a time,
please. Also, state why you looked in that particular newspaper?"
They told him, one at a time, in the hearing of the others, thereby
intensifying their own feeling of having been lumped into an
electorate. He made notes as they answered. Some had seen it in the
_Herald_. Others blamed the _World_ or the _Times_ or the _Sun_, or the
_Tribune_. Three gave two papers; one had seen three. They expressed
their professional opinion of that particular advertising medium,
feeling that said opinion was a qualification of fitness.
Young Mr. Barrett from his chair answered: "In all the papers. I also
looked in the German, Yiddish, and Italian papers; in the _Courier des
Etats-Unis_, and in the first morning edition of every afternoon paper.
I did it to get a line on _you_."
H. R. did not look as if he had heard Barrett. He said to the others: "I
thank you all for coming. I shall not need Wilson, Streeter, Manley,
Hill, Roberts, Smith, Jenks, or MacDuffy."
One of the rejected came forward, scowling. He was naturally a
robust-looking person. He said, "Say, this is--"
H. R. did not allow the full expression of individual opinion--a form of
salutary discipline which explains why people are governed. He snarled
in a tone of voice that made his shoulders look a yard wide: "Mr. Book
Agent, I've picked the men I want. What I don't want is to hear any
remarks. Talk them into a dictagraph and send the cylinders by parcels
post to my secretary."
He had risen. But when he finished speaking, as though the unarmed
proletariat were in full retreat, he sat down again. It was the way he
did it.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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