Advertising -- Fiction; Bank employees -- Fiction; Labor unions -- Fiction; New York (N.Y.) -- Fiction; Satire
He saw it in the air, two feet from the tip of his nose; he was a
creative artist. Then he became a salesman.
"We can submit designs to you, Mr. Rutgers--"
"To-day?"
"Oh, gracious, no! We couldn't--"
"To-morrow, then. You have grasped the idea completely. No, Mr.
Gwathmey; no!" And H. R. held up a hand--the hand of Fate. "To-morrow,
at the latest! Must have it! I hate waiting. That's why I came to
Valiquet's instead of Shoreham's. And now," he went on before Mr.
Gwathmey could protest, "I wish also a series of designs for
sandwich-boards--heraldic shields, scutcheons and bucklers,
spade-shapes, rectangular boards of the right proportion, circles, and a
keystone for use by the Pennsylvania Railroad. I propose to raise the
sandwich to the highest form of art. I shall experiment with various
materials--wood, metal, and composition, with raised as well as with
sunken letters, in divers colors, vert antique and beautiful soft grays,
and iridescent-glass mosaic. Can't you imagine a sandwich being made
artistic, if I get competent experts to design them?" H. R. looked
anxiously at the competent expert.
"Indeed I can," replied Mr. Gwathmey, with conviction. "Indeed I can,
Mr. Rutgers. It is an excellent idea!"
"Thank you. Do you know, I thought so, too!"
Mr. Gwathmey, being a kindly man, was so pleased at having suggested,
evolved, and improved a great idea that he filled with enthusiasm.
Enthusiasm always made him take out his pencil and reach for a pad. He
did so now.
"For instance--" he said, and he began to design.
"Exactly! Exactly!" said H. R., with such eager admiration that Mr.
Gwathmey was inspired by love of the young man. "I'd give everything I
own, Mr. Gwathmey, to have your gift!"
Mr. Gwathmey modestly felt his talents overcapitalized. Everything this
eccentric but clever scion of the Knickerbockers owned? Mr. Gwathmey
almost saw the old Rutgers farm! It must have had at least one hundred
and fifty acres bounded by Broadway, Wall, Fulton, and the East River. A
very nice young man, with agricultural ancestors in New Amsterdam.
"Won't you give me these, Mr. Gwathmey?" pleaded H. R.
"We never send out such rough--"
"These are not the firm's, but Gwathmey's. Just sign your name and let
me keep these as souvenirs. Please!" And H. R. smiled with boyish
eagerness.
Mr. Gwathmey signed his initials, and reluctantly gave the drawings to
H. R., shaking his modest head deprecatingly.
H. R. reverently put the precious sheets in his pocket and said: "Thank
you very much. Now you get your best sculptor to model my Ultimate
Sandwich by to-morrow, won't you?" Then he proceeded to contradict in
advance--a purely feminine habit, sometimes used with great effect by
masculine leaders--"Oh yes, he can. I'm sure _you_ can make him do it if
you wish to be nice!"
What reply could Mr. Gwathmey possibly make? He made it. "I'll do my
best, Mr. Rutgers; but--"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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