"Eminency, 'it is not I who have lost the Athenians: it is the
Athenians who have lost me.' I would say that in Greek if I thought
you would understand me. When the Athenians want me, they will not
have much difficulty in finding me. But to tell you the truth, I find
these bishop-johnnies excessively tiresome. As I said just now, when
Agneda silently relieved himself of his obligations to me, I offered my
services to half-a-dozen of them, more or less, plainly telling them
my history and my circumstances. What a fool they must have thought
me,--or what a brazen and dangerous scoundrel! Yes, I do believe they
thought me that. I was astonishingly unsophisticate then. I didn't
know a tithe of what I know now; and I solemnly assever that I believe
those owl-like hierarchs to have been completely flabbergasted because
I neither whimpered penitence, nor whined for mercy, but actually had
the effrontery to tell them the blind and naked truth about myself.
Truth nude and unadorned, is such a rare commodity among Catholics,
as you know, and especially among the clergy; and I suppose, as long
as we continue to draw the majority of our spiritual pastors from the
hooligan class, from the scum of the gutter, that the man who tells the
truth in his own despite always emphatically will be condemned as mad,
or bad, or both."
"Really, Mr. Rose!" the cardinal interjected.
"Yes, Eminency: we teach little children that there are three kinds of
lies; and that the Officiose Lie, which is told to excuse oneself or
another--the meanest lie of the lot, I say--is only a Venial Sin. It's
in the catechism. Well, naturally enough the miserable little wretches,
who can't possibly grasp the subtilty of a _distinguo_, put undue
importance on that abominable world 'only'; and they grow up as the
most despicable of all liars. Ouf! I learned all this from a thin thing
named Danielson, just after my return to the faith of my forefathers.
He lied to me. In my innocence I took his word. Then I found him out;
and preached on the enormity of his crime. 'Well, sir,' says he as bold
as brass, 'it's only a Venial Sin!'"
"George, you're beside the point," the bishop said.
"His Eminency will indulge me. What was I saying? Oh,--that I had had
enough of being rebuffed by bishops. I came to that conclusion when His
Lordship of Chadsee blandly told me that I never would get a bishop to
accept my services as long as I continued to tell the truth about my
experiences. I stopped competing for rebuffs then. I do not propose to
begin again until I am the possessor of a cheque-book."
The cardinal was gazing through the leaves of an india-rubber plant out
of the window; his magnificent eyes were drained of all expression.
When the nervose deliberately-hardened and pathetic voice of the
speaker ceased, he brought the argument to a focus with these words,
"George Arthur Rose, I summon you to offer yourself to me."
"I am not ready to offer myself to Your Eminency."
"Not ready?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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