An hour later, the bishop suggested that they should go into the
Pauline Chapel and say some prayers. George followed him. Prayer is
a mind-cleanser--the best: anyhow it is an effort always due. They
looked for a clean four-feet-of-floor: kneeled side by side; and got
into communication with the Unseen. George's method was intellectual
rather than formal. To him, with his keen and carefully cultivated
sense of the ridiculous, the absurdity of a human individual composing
complacent criticisms of Divine decrees, hashing up scriptural and
liturgical tags with a proper and essentially sensuous pleasure in
patchwork, seemed like gratuitous impertinence. "Dear Jesus, be not to
me a Judge, but a Saviour," was all the form of words which he used. It
included everything, as far as he could see. He repeated it over and
over again and again like a wonderful incantation; and anon it had its
psychic effect. He became in direct communication with the Invisible
Omniscient, to Whom all hearts are open, from Whom no secrets are hid.
It was just his own method, compiled from bitter-sweet experience.
In time, he began to finger his moonstone rosary, concentrating his
meditation on the Mystery of the Annunciation: his mind strenuously
went to work on that: his lips swiftly enunciated the prayers. After
five decades he said _Salve Regina_: and examined his conscience. Was
there any difference in him? He felt more clear: he felt that he
had effected some kind of a difference. That was relief. But was it
worth anything? Wasn't it stained? Was he really strengthened by the
exercise? For example, was he now filled and inflamed with pure Love?
No. Was he any nearer to pure Love, fit to be thought of, even harshly,
by pure Love? No. Well: he had done his best: it would come some day.
God be merciful to us all poor sinners.
He looked at the bishop, two weeks his junior in years, two centuries
his senior in worth of every kind. The cheerful satisfied stolidity
of that one, turning from his prayers and meeting George's gaze with
a homely smile, was something astounding. How different men are! Here
was one envying the other his stolidity, and the other half afraid of
the agility of the one. George realized that this bishop never had had
embarrassments of any kind: nor could have. He saw the great gulph
which is fixed between the simple and the complex.
There was a stir at the door of the chapel. "I think perhaps we'd
better be getting back," said Dr. Talacryn.
Two masters-of-ceremonies appeared in attendance upon
Cardinal-Archdeacon Macca and Cardinal-Deacon Berstein. As George and
his companion approached them, they turned and retraced their steps.
George wished them anywhere but there, impeding him when he ought to
be running-off to the service of his diocesan. They completely blocked
the path as they went before him with superb unconcern. "How stiff, how
antipathetic the elder one looks!" he whispered with acerbity.
"Sh-h-h!" the bishop sibilated.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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