England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction
taking charge of him had deepened and deepened with years. It was
graven into her mind as the object for which she lived. The sacrifice
she had made for this object only made it more precious to her.
Besides, she separated the idea of the docile, affectionate, loutish,
indolent Will, and kept it distinct from the terror which the demon
that occasionally possessed him inspired her with. The one was her
flesh and her blood—the child of her dead mother; the other was some
fiend who came to torture and convulse the creature she so loved. She
believed that she fought her brother’s battle in holding down those
tearing hands, in binding whenever she could those uplifted restless
arms prompt and prone to do mischief. All the time she subdued him with
her cunning or her strength, she spoke to him in pitying murmurs, or
abused the third person, the fiendish enemy, in no unmeasured tones.
Towards morning the paroxysm was exhausted, and he would fall asleep,
perhaps only to waken with evil and renewed vigour. But when he was
laid down, she would sally out to taste the fresh air, and to work off
her wild sorrow in cries and mutterings to herself. The early labourers
saw her gestures at a distance, and thought her as crazed as the
idiot-brother who made the neighbourhood a haunted place. But did any
chance person call at Yew Nook later on in the day, he would find Susan
Dixon cold, calm, collected; her manner curt, her wits keen.
Once this fit of violence lasted longer than usual. Susan’s strength
both of mind and body was nearly worn out; she wrestled in prayer that
somehow it might end before she, too, was driven mad; or, worse, might
be obliged to give up life’s aim, and consign Willie to a madhouse.
From that moment of prayer (as she afterwards superstitiously thought)
Willie calmed—and then he drooped—and then he sank—and, last of all, he
died in reality from physical exhaustion.
But he was so gentle and tender as he lay on his dying bed; such
strange, child-like gleams of returning intelligence came over his
face, long after the power to make his dull, inarticulate sounds had
departed, that Susan was attracted to him by a stronger tie than she
had ever felt before. It was something to have even an idiot loving her
with dumb, wistful, animal affection; something to have any creature
looking at her with such beseeching eyes, imploring protection from the
insidious enemy stealing on. And yet she knew that to him death was no
enemy, but a true friend, restoring light and health to his poor
clouded mind. It was to her that death was an enemy; to her, the
survivor, when Willie died; there was no one to love her.
Worse doom still, there was no one left on earth for her to love.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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