"Well, anyhow," continued the Idiot, unabashed, "whether my speech
suggests the unearthly, mystic beauty of the Ganges, or the placid
fructifying flow of the Mississippi, the fact remains that the best
American type is a composite of all the best that human experience has
been able to produce in the way of a featherless biped since Doctor
Darwin's friend, Simian, got rid of his tail, preferring to sleep
quietly on his back in bed rather than spend his nights swinging
nervously to and fro from the limb of a tree. Since we can't deny this,
let's make a virtue of it, and act accordingly. What is more simple,
then, than that a composite people should go in for a composite
architecture to express themselves in marble, stone, and brick? Acting
on this principle let our architecture express the glory that was
Greece, the grandeur that was Rome, the utility that was England, the
economy that was Scotch, the _espièglerie_ that was France, the
simplicity that was Holland, and the efficiency that was Germany, not to
mention the philandery that was Constantinople. The problem will be how
to combine all these various strains and qualities in one composite
building, and that, of course, will have to be solved by architects. It
isn't a thing like banking that under the theories of modern
Statesmanship can be settled by chauffeurs, tobacconists, and
undertakers, but will require expert handling. I don't know very much
about architecture myself, but off-hand I should say that the exterior
of the building might be a combination of late Victorian Queen Anne,
softened somewhat with Elizabethan suggestions of neo-Gothic
Graeco-Roman Classicism; with a Byzantine fullness about the eaves,
relieved with a touch of Hebridean French Renaissance manifested in the
rococo quality of the pergola effect at the front, the whole building
welded into a less inchoate mass by a very pronounced feeling of
Georgian decadence, emphasized with a gambrel roof, and the façade
decorated with flamboyant Dutch fire escapes, bringing irresistibly to
mind the predominance in all American art of the Teutonic-Doric, as
shown in our tendency to gables supported by moorish pilasters done in
Hudson River brick. Not being an architect myself I don't know that a
building of that kind could be made to stand up, but we might experiment
on the proposition by erecting a Pan-European building in Washington,
and see whether it would stand or not. If it could stand through one
extra session of Congress without cracking, I don't see why it couldn't
be put up anywhere abroad with perfect confidence that it would stay up
through one administration, anyhow."
"A nightmare of that kind erected in the capital city of a friendly
power would be just cause for war to the knife!" said Mr. Brief.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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