"Don't you see I'm as busy as I can be? Can't you do it yourself?" "I dunna what he wants." "Well, go ax him," said Mr. Morgan. Andy went off as he was bidden, and came behind the thirsty gentleman's chair, with, "I beg your pardon, sir." "Well!" said the gentleman. "I beg your pardon, sir; but what's this you axed me for?" "Soda-water." "What, sir?" "Soda-water: but, perhaps you have not any." "Oh, there's plenty in the house, sir! Would you like it hot, sir?" The gentleman laughed, and supposing the new fashion was not understood in the present company said, "Never mind." But Andy was too anxious to please to be so satisfied, and again applied to Mr. Morgan. "Sir!" said he. "Bad luck to you!--can't you let me alone?" "There's a gentleman wants some soap and wather." "Some what?" "Soap and wather, sir." "Divil sweep you!--Soda-wather you mane. You'll get it under the side-board." "Is it in the can, sir?" "The curse o' Crum'll on you! in the bottles." "Is this it, sir?" said Andy producing a bottle of ale. "No, bad cess to you!--the little bottles." "Is it the little bottles with no bottoms, sir?" "I wish _you_ wor in the bottom o' the say!" said Mr. Morgan, who was fuming and puffing, and rubbing down his face with a napkin, as he was hurrying to all quarters of the room, or, as Andy said, in praising his activity, that he was "like bad luck--everywhere." "There they are!" said Mr. Morgan at last. "Oh, them bottles that won't stand," said Andy; "sure them's what I said, with no bottoms to them. How'll I open it?--it's tied down." "Cut the cord, you fool!" Andy did as he was desired; and he happened at the time to hold the bottle of soda-water on a level with the candles that shed light over the festive board from a large silver branch, and the moment he made the incision, bang went the bottle of soda, knocking out two of the lights with the projected cork, which, performing its parabola the length of the room, struck the squire himself in the eye at the foot of the table: while the hostess at the head had a cold bath down her back. Andy, when he saw the soda-water jumping out of the bottle, held it from him at arm's length; every fizz it made, exclaiming, "Ow!--ow!--ow!" and, at last, when the bottle was empty, he roared out, "Oh, Lord!--it's all gone!" Great was the commotion;--few could resist laughter except the ladies, who all looked at their gowns, not liking the mixture of satin and soda-water. The extinguished candles were relighted--the squire got his eye open again--and the next time he perceived the butler sufficiently near to speak to him, he said in a low and hurried tone of deep anger, while he knit his brow, "Send that fellow out of the room!" but, within the same instant, resumed his former smile, that beamed on all around as if nothing had happened.