And indeed there was a certain immobility of death in that countenance.
But at times the blue lips of the sick man stirred with a slight
movement, as if in prayer, or as if he were cursing his loneliness and
those dreadful drops of moisture which measured with even monotony the
hours of his sickness.
One evening the woman came a little drunk, therefore more talkative than
usual.
"There is so much work on my head that I can barely look in twice a
day," said she; "if you would call a religious, a sister of charity
costs nothing, and she would be better for a sick man."
This advice pleased Kamionka, but he, like others who are afflicted, had
the habit of always opposing whatever advice people gave him; so he
would not agree.
But after the woman had gone he began to think thus: "A sister of
charity costs nothing, but what aid she might give, and what comfort!"
Kamionka, like every sick man left to himself, experienced much
suffering and struggled with a thousand petty miseries, which annoyed
him as much as they made him impatient. More than once he lay for whole
hours with a crooked neck before he would move to arrange his own
pillow. Often in the night he was cold and would have given God knows
what for a cup of tea; but if it was difficult to light a candle, how
was he to think of making tea? A sister of charity would do all this
with the mild readiness usual to those sisters. Oh, how much easier to
be sick if one had their assistance!
The poor man came at last to think of sickness under such conditions as
something desirable and pleasant, and he wondered in his soul if the
like happiness were accessible to him even.
It seemed, too, that if a sister were to come and bring with her a
little joyousness and solace to the studio, perhaps the weather would
clear up outside, and the sounding drops of water cease to pursue him.
He regretted at last that he had not accepted the advice of the woman
immediately. Night was approaching, long and gloomy, and the woman was
to look in at him only next morning. He understood now that that night
would be for him more grievous than all the nights which had ever
preceded it.
Then he thought what a Lazarus he was--and in distinction to his present
wretchedness his former happy years stood before his eyes as if living.
And as a moment before the thought of the sister of charity, so now the
remembrance of those years joined itself in the same wonderful manner in
his weakened brain, with the understanding of sun and light and fair
weather.
He began to think of his dead one, and to speak with her, as he had the
habit of doing when he was ill. At last he wearied himself, felt that he
was growing weak, and fell asleep.
The candle was burning slowly. Its flame from being rosy was blue, then
it gleamed brightly a number of times, and died. Deep darkness embraced
the studio.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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