These thoughts were bitter and grievous. It turned out that this whole
world of nobles was too rude for Hania. Unfortunately my mother had not
been at home for a long time, and we men had hands that were too rough;
we had crushed between them the delicate flower thrown among us by fate.
Blame hung over our whole house, and this blame must be effaced with my
blood or Selim's. I was ready for either event.
Meanwhile the light of day had begun to look in with increasing force
through my window. I quenched the candles burning on the table; it was
almost daylight. Half-past four struck clearly in the hall of the house.
"Well, it is time!" thought I; and, throwing a cloak over my shoulders
to hide the weapons in case some one met me, I went out of the station.
While passing near the house, I noticed that the main door in the
entrance, which was fastened at night usually by the jaws of an iron
lion, was open. Evidently some one had gone out; hence I needed to take
every precaution not to meet that person. Stealing along silently by the
side of the front yard toward the linden-trees, I looked carefully on
all sides, but it seemed to me as if everything round about were
sleeping calmly. Only in the alley did I raise my head boldly, feeling
sure that they would not see me now from the mansion. The morning was
very clear and beautiful after yesterday's tempest. The sweet odor of
wet lindens met me with great freshness in the alley. I turned on the
left toward the forge, the mill, and the dam; that was the road to Vah's
cottage. Sleep and weariness fled far away from me under the influence
of the fresh morning and fine weather. I was full of a certain good
hope; some internal forewarning told me that in that struggle which was
to come, I should conquer. Selim used pistols like a master, but I was
not inferior as a shot; in handling a sabre he surpassed me in skill, it
is true, but to make up I was far stronger than he, to that degree
stronger that he could hardly endure my strokes on his sabre. "And,
moreover, come what may," thought I, "this is the end; and if it is not
the solution, it will be the cutting of the Gordian knot which has bound
me and stifled me so long. Besides, in good or bad faith, Selim has
wrought great injustice on Hania, and he must atone for it."
Thus meditating, I reached the bank of the pond. Mist and steam had
dropped from the air onto the water. Daylight had painted the blue
surface of the pond with the colors of dawn. Early morning had only just
begun. The air was growing more and more transparent; it was fresh
everywhere, calm, rosy, quiet; only from the reeds came to my ears the
quacking of wild ducks. I was near the sluices and bridge, when I
stopped on a sudden, as if driven into the earth.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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